Thursday, December 25, 2008

Romantic Comedies Schmomedies

[F]ans of films such as Runaway Bride and Notting Hill often fail to communicate with their partner. Many held the view if someone is meant to be with you, then they should know what you want without you telling them. The [study's director] said: "Marriage counsellors often see couples who believe that sex should always be perfect, and if someone is meant to be with you then they will know what you want without you needing to communicate it. "We now have some emerging evidence that suggests popular media play a role in perpetuating these ideas in people's minds.
I’ve always held that everyday TV is far more pernicious and mind deforming – in terms of shaping our psychologies, our responses to our own desires, and that of others, into the most disaffected, disassociated, and phantastic of ways – than the occasional boob, bush, or floppy flaccid phallus seen on screen or on the toob. Honestly. I’ve had enough of digitized tits when shit like Runaway Bride goes uncensored, the producers unmanacled!

And yes, I’d extend this critique to – GASP! – Sex in the City. What are more recent titles?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

In Case of Apocalypse....

If the exposure rate (rads/hr) is known at a given time after an explosion, the calculator predicts the exposure rate at any other time. It also estimates the dose to personnel who are in the area at specified periods of time after the explosion. The back of the slide rule has the (none too clear) instructions.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Cumming & Cooking

Have a taste for Man Made Oysters?

Creamy Cum Crepes?

Then here's a recipe book for you!
Natural Harvest - A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes.


Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will love this cook book!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Thought for the Day on Orgasmic Labor

Says Christine Northrup, an OB-GYN and author of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom:
When the baby’s coming down the birth canal, remember, it’s going through the exact same positions as something going in, the penis going into the vagina, to cause an orgasm. And labor itself is associated with a huge hormonal change in the body, way more prolactin, way more oxytocin, way more beta-endorphins — these are the molecules of ecstasy.
Isn't parturition AMAZING?

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Chris Dane Owens - "Shine On Me"

This video absolutely has it all. They just don't make 'em like this anymore! Watch it at least 5 times.... Seriously. I did. Maybe 8. Maybe more? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?:

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Election 2008 among the Joeja Natives

Tribal chieftress wears red tights as she charms blond children to save civilization from a benighted Hussein terrorist (above)

s reported in the Banner-Herald:

Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain won the election over Democratic candidate Sen. Barack Obama by a popular vote margin of 423 to 157 on Nov. 4 during a mock election held at Danielsville Elementary School in Northeast Georgia.

"I've loved doing this," fifth-grader Amber Fowler said. "It's been my favorite thing so far this year." "Even better than the zoo?" Manus asked about their field trip to the Atlanta Zoo in October. "Even better than the zoo," Amber said. "I feel actually like I'm 18 and voting."

Well, if this don’t really persuade you that the Republican party is for kids, or aimed at those with the emotive mindset of an uneducated child, then nothing will.

At the event, our branch reporter caught up with THE WORLD’S GREATEST DAD, who loves his son more than anything in the world. He has this to say: “That's right kids: deciding the fate of the World based on your redneck parents' fear of obsolescence and your own ill-conceived and uniformed notions of, well, everything is EVEN BETTER THAN THE ZOO!”

Monday, November 10, 2008

Wednesday, November 05, 2008


And, finally, The Onion headline, "Nation Finally Shitty Enough To Make Social Progress"

WASHINGTON—After emerging victorious from one of the most pivotal elections in history, president-elect Barack Obama will assume the role of commander in chief on Jan. 20, shattering a racial barrier the United States is, at long last, shitty enough to overcome.

Obama's victory is being called the most significant change in politics since the 1992 election, when a full-scale economic recession led voters to momentarily ignore the fact that candidate Bill Clinton had once smoked marijuana. While many believed things had once again reached an all-time low in 2004, the successful reelection of President George W. Bush—despite historically low approval ratings nationwide—proved that things were not quite shitty enough to challenge the already pretty shitty status quo.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Fucktard of the Day: The Undecided Voter & Registered Democrat

Meet a dumb ass fuck head, Keven Sheen.

"I'm actually still wrestling with moral issues," says the 29-year-old registered Democrat, who voted for George W. Bush in 2004.


You big pussy. IIIIIIssues in this one, no doubt.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

McCain/Palin Voters AKA White, Racist, Ugly Assholes

Were I president, I'd rescind their right to vote without further education and perhaps some torture mixed in for behaving like terrorists:

Friday, September 26, 2008

Was? Am

I'm only now reckoning with the idea that there were rock stars from the 70s and 80s with whom I was in love but only now realize it.

I mean this voice, that face! If you'd just be OBJECTIVE, you'd too would say, FUUUUUUUCK:

This works too, very well, into the 80s. Take it from :39ff.

And ditto, Magic Woman:

I may say more on this later....

Monday, September 15, 2008

The Meaning of "Hockey Mom": More Lipstick, More Pig

Hockey is the whitest ass sport in the world. Everyone knows that.

So, we ask, Is the phrase “Hockey mom” not a euphemism for “white,” maybe even “blond”, “women” who are urged to vote Rethuglican because there is a black man on the Democratic ticket?

Is it not to characterize the so-called “white ethnics” in terms more specific and explicit than “soccer moms” (which could include Hispanic moms, after all) or “security moms” (which is Every Mom, though with a distinctly conservative, post 9/11 flavor).

You can even hear it. The vowels of this phrase “H ‘eye’ ckey ” “M ‘eye’ m” are meant to signal “midwestern-white-, or rust-belt women, and/or mid-North women from Minnesota and other such states”.

One hears in this phrase, then, the aural equivalent of the imagery of the McCain ad that opens with almost subliminal images of blond celebrity women (Paris and Britney), narrated by that “skeptical” or even “worried” female voice – all to express a certain hyped-up “blond/black,” “white/black” dichotomy.

In other words, it's lipstick on yet another pig -- the whole "black man / blond woman" narrative, which has quite ancient, hysterical, and racist roots in this country.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Country First? : The Lipstick & The Pig

Later, in the spin zones of cable TV, commentators repeatedly made the point that there are probably very few voters — some specifically mentioned “hockey moms” — who could explain the Bush doctrine. But that’s exactly the reason we have such long and intense campaigns. You want to find the individuals who best understand these issues, who will address them in sophisticated and creative ways that enhance the well-being of the nation.

The really scary part of the Palin interview was how much she seemed like W. in 2000, and not just the way she pronounced nu-cue-lar. She had the same flimsy but tenacious adeptness at saying nothing, the same generalities and platitudes, the same restrained resentment at being pressed to be specific, as though specific is the province of silly eggheads, not people who clear brush at the ranch or shoot moose on the tundra.

McCain talks about how he would build dozens of nuclear power plants. Oh, really? They go for $10 billion a pop. Where is the money going to come from? From lowering taxes? From banning abortions? From borrowing more from China? From having Sarah Palin “reform” Washington — as if she has any more clue how to do that than the first 100 names in the D.C. phonebook?

-- a heartbeat away.... yikes

Friday, September 12, 2008

How to get to Sesame Street

Wow, there's hidden meaning to the lyric:
Come and play
Everything's A-OK
Friendly neighbors there....":

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Song for the day & the Joys of Decoding Broadcast Porn (When there was such a thing)

This song has special meaning for me. Right when this video came out, I started decoding, deciphering, and unscrambling French porn from a pay channel called "ONTV" in Chicago, and it basically had the "look" of this video. It was awesome. It all came together -- a new interest in sexy music, an interest in sex coupled with a newfound mesmerization with moving, naked bodies in dark, muted technicolor. Only TVs from the 70s, still around in the 80s of course, had BOTH a "vertical" adjustment AND the rarer "horizontal" one, so you could basically fix the split screen image (left to right) and besmirch your mind in all sorts of ways, until all hours of the morning. It's beautiful.

apt13's descrambles

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Then & Now (Every Now & Then): Two Vids with Perfectly Hot Chics Who Are Awesome To Look At & Are "GOOD FOR THE VIDEO, YOU KNOW?"

Be in awe of one of the best rock songs of the 80s. If you don't like it, you're dumb.

"Ah Leah" by Donnie Iris

And this one? Well, wait for "fuck".

"Evil Once Again" by Black Betty

Ballast restricting puzzle muffler?

No. Not that I know. I'm suddenly not allowed to have my own thoughts.
Nice poem Barva, you really hit the mark. You are the standard bearer. You really DO know how to make a salamander...........
None of that?!?

--- On Sun, 9/7/08, GBDH wrote:
From: GBDH
Subject: Re: Fern Worker
To: -----@---.or
Date: Sunday, September 7, 2008, 1:27 AM

Is that last a reference to a Robert Fripp tune or something?

Idsvilbarva wrote:

> Fern Worker, pert burglar. Maison Praline avec-Not/far/from-foolhardy
> pearl merlin hurler.
> Mazel Tov Coctail. Ballast restricting puzzle muffler.
> On a gone a git chee...
> On a gone and got a git chee, indeed.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Monday, August 25, 2008

Debra Bartoshevich

Dear Deb,

Can I call you Deb? Anyway, there's a moist steaming plate of shit over which you can die once you've eaten it. And psssst, as a former Hillary Delegate now supporting McCain, you can saddle up to Joe Lieberman and share a fresh bag of dicks, great for dipping into aforementioned concoction. Ok, I admit it, I was always baffled by Bush voters, especially those who voted for him in 2004, but you and your idiotic lot take the fucking cake. No wonder the Democratic party dumped you as a delegate. It hurts to be dumped doesn't it? Well, cackle about that, because your candidate HRC ran a terrible, I would say evil campaign, thanks to Mark Penn (you see the recent memos, lady?). And you call yourself a "self-respecting woman"? Deb, I hope you live to see your stupid ugly children suffer in the world you helped to make if McCain steals this one. Fuck you.


Wednesday, August 20, 2008


Man, I'm thirsty for a drink of Sunny D, bloggers beverage of choice:

I mean, I just wanna grab this drink and drink it:


[so does Apt13, who supplied these fucking lovely drawings on his boss's time]

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Boo, I'm back, and Ready for Halloween. Check out the descriptions of these lovely products, and click on the links if you daaaaaare

This is a brand new design. This guy has been ripped in half then chained to a pole with sections of his skin being pulled by barbed wire. His arms, face, stomach are all barbed wired. This is a life size torso. When hung it's one big prop.

Head is severed and eyes are ripped out and her wrists are slit. She is suspended with exposed bone in her wrists. She's gutted and carved to her leg bones. Height is 5'7 " tall.

Tortured Hanging man trashes violently in a sit up position while screaming and being eaten by rats while covered with a burlap bag. Life Sized Animatronic comes with hanging chains, character with burlap bag and rats, motion sensor, controller, sound system with rat and man screaming sounds.

Ahh… there is nothing like a fresh kill, unfortunately it will be you. Splattered man sits hunched over with brains exposed and plenty of them strewn about. Shotgun Blast starts to trash violently in a hunched over position and then sits up quickly, he then screams and jumps up to a standing position with his shotgun in his hand. Life Sized Animatronic comes with chair, motion sensor, character, controller and sound system with sound of man screaming.

This Bound corpse will stop them in their tracks. Well constructed, she can sit as shown, stand upright using stand or be laid on a bed or table. Arms and legs are semi-poseable and the best feature of this gal is her dead stare. Lifelike ripped out eyes she looks so real. You get all seen here. The corpse, the bound rope and bound mouth and eyes, ripped and bloody dress.

Victim thrashes violently as saw blade and battery strobes. The Torture Chair comes complete with Buzz Saw with Strobe light, Battery with Battery Cables and strobe light. Pail, Full Life-sized Body and Torture Chair with Head rest with nails with flesh hanging off. This uncomfortable to watch animatronic is made with Lifelike details.

And for the dogXlovers....

Life size large bone dog corpse with stand. This Decayed Dog Features layers of gory detail, fur, eyeballs, muscle detail and plenty of exposed intestine.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Nostril vs. Tendril

By idsvilbarva, guest blogger

One envelops odors and aromas while serving an important aesthetic purpose for the outer appearance of the nose.

One wraps itself around other objects for structural support in order to grow and expand its reach. Its aesthetic is the spiral pattern sometimes found in nature.

We report. You decide.

Excitement Eggs: Or, Why "Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" Sucks

By the guest blogger, world's greatest DAD

MASSIVE THUMBS-DOWN. I just back from seeing this in England, where I essentially paid $20 to get in. I got some bad news, me droogies: I think Lucas had A LOT to to do with the script. LOTS. There's never any real sense of danger, there's no chemistry between him & marion (very disappointing that -- he shows up and she's all google-eyed), there's no tension bewteen him and Ilsa, she-wolf of the KGB, and the whole thing is a lot of misplaced sarcasms, anachronisms, and pater famili-ar apologetics. & etc & etc.

Of course he did manage to leave in the problematic representation of Otherness.

LUCAS = FAIL. I am no longer excited about Clone Wars and have decided to put all my excitement-eggs into two baskets: Batman and Hellboy2 --and most of that is going into Hellboy.

2. So, you retort, "'Crystal Skull' isn't all that bad. You're just nostalgic for the first one and you set up impossible expectations".

I defy anyone to watch Raiders and then immediately watch this one and tell me that the first one isn't a superior product. It doesn't matter if it--Raiders-- had plot holes or a silly story; the script worked and the actors were convincing and had chemistry and the effects were a pleasure and the photography/camera work was thrilling and fit the tone of the story and the overall effect was fun and scary and refreshing. the new one accomplishes none of those things: the performances are flat, the script is hokey, the effects are transparent and the whole thing looks like it was phoned in.

Just b/c the film is dripping w/ nostalgia for a time long dead doesn't mean that any critical account of that film is guilty of the same historical subjectivity... Crystal Skull is just plain bad film-making from a team of creators from whom we should expect more (He's Spielberg for Godssake! he can handle character!)

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Super Tuesday, volume II

NYT reports:

“Mr. Obama is expected to win the primary in Oregon, a largely white state with a fairly liberal Democratic base, while Mrs. Clinton is expected to win in Kentucky, which has a strong working-class vote,” and um, errrrr, also “a largely white state,” yes?

Hmmm. So both states have large white populations. Hmmm, what’s the difference between them? “Mrs. Clinton won a commanding victory last Tuesday in neighboring West Virginia, where racial considerations emerged as an unusually evident factor for some Democratic voters, according to exit polls.” Is that what they are calling RACISM now? “Racial considerations”? OK.

“Clinton advisers add that they believe race was a relatively small factor in the West Virginia vote.” HAH! Of course they say that. It’s their brand of Clinton Racism I spoke about earlier, which has one part cynicism, two parts stupidity, and a dash of Roveian strategy.

“. . . and this is nowhere near over,” says HRC.

God almighty. Woman, STOP THE MADNESS. But no....

Old white ladies of America! UNITE!!!

Friday, May 16, 2008

Dumb White Voters: Racism in Klinton Kuntry

Wow. This article from the Washington Post both shocks and fails to surprise. The level of retrograde, troglodyte idiocy in Indiana is truly astounding. I thought West Virginia (gaaaaaay) had taken the cake, but Indiana leaves the cake of that "wild and wonderful" state out in the rain:
In Muncie, a factory town in the east-central part of Indiana, Ross and her cohorts were soliciting support for Obama at malls, on street corners and in a Wal-Mart parking lot, and they ran into "a horrible response," as Ross put it, a level of anti-black sentiment that none of them had anticipated. "The first person I encountered was like, 'I'll never vote for a black person,' " recalled Ross, who is white and just turned 20. "People just weren't receptive."
But it gets way worse:
Victoria Switzer, a retired social studies teacher, was on phone-bank duty one night during the Pennsylvania primary campaign. One night was all she could take: "It wasn't pretty." She made 60 calls to prospective voters in Susquehanna County, her home county, which is 98 percent white. The responses were dispiriting. One caller, Switzer remembers, said he couldn't possibly vote for Obama and concluded: "Hang that darky from a tree!"
Documentary filmmaker Rory Kennedy, the daughter of the late Robert F. Kennedy, said she, too, came across "a lot of racism" when campaigning for Obama in Pennsylvania. One Pittsburgh union organizer told her he would not vote for Obama because he is black, and a white voter, she said, offered this frank reason for not backing Obama: "White people look out for white people, and black people look out for black people."
And then there’s this:
On Election Day in Kokomo, a group of black high school students were holding up Obama signs along U.S. 31, a major thoroughfare. As drivers cruised by, a number of them rolled down their windows and yelled out a common racial slur for African Americans, according to Obama campaign staffers. Frederick Murrell, a black Kokomo High School senior, was not there but heard what happened. He was more disappointed than surprised. During his own canvassing for Obama, Murrell said, he had "a lot of doors slammed" in his face. But taunting teenagers on a busy commercial strip in broad daylight? "I was very shocked at first," Murrell said. "Then again, I wasn't, because we have a lot of racism here."
And it goes on and on. Here’s some choice words from a CIVIC OFFICIAL in Pennsylvania, that other great “Clinton” state in which Billary (worth $109 Million) tried their darndest to stir up class and racial resentment:
In a letter to the editor published in a local paper, Tunkhannock Borough Mayor Norm Ball explained his support of Hillary Clinton this way: "Barack Hussein Obama and all of his talk will do nothing for our country. There is so much that people don't know about his upbringing in the Muslim world. His stepfather was a radical Muslim and the ranting of his minister against the white America, you can't convince me that some of that didn't rub off on him. No, I want a president that will salute our flag, and put their hand on the Bible when they take the oath of office."
Here is the address, phone number, and email address of balless Norm Ball. Write him:
Tunkhannock Borough
126 Warren Street
Tunkhannock PA 18657
(570) 836-1548
Or -- NEW!!! -- use the online form here and let him personally know that you donate to GOLDBLACKDEVILHUSSEINHEAD and will "fight" to the very bitter end for Dalton Hatfield to get his bike and X-box back from the clutches of the MONSTER. (Psssssst, make sure to attend the rally for Dalton next Saturday; location, t.b.a., but word on the street is that it's to be held at the Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum.) You can even send him this form letter (just copy it directly into the text field using your mouse cursor ma gig):
Dear Mister Norman Bates I mean Ball (Get it? “Ball”?),

I am an Elite Member (Verified) of GOLDBLACKDEVILHUSSEINHEAD. I am writing to demand that you immediately resign from the position of Mayor upon receipt of this letter. I give money to GOLDBLACKDEVILHUSSEINHEAD and have been told that you are stupid. Stop leaving messages on my answering machine you fatso.

Thank you,

Finally, like Josh (gaaaaaay) from the previous post, we have this denier:
Aaron Roe, 23, was mowing lawns at a local cemetery recently, lamenting his $8-an-hour job with no benefits. He had earned a community college degree as an industrial electrician, but learned there was no electrical work to be found for someone with his experience, which is to say none. Politics wasn't on his mind; frustration was. If he were to vote, it would not be for Obama, he said. "I just got a funny feeling about him," Roe said, a feeling he couldn't specify, except to say race wasn't a part of it. "Race ain't nothing," said Roe, who is white. "It's how they're going to help the country."
It’s still cool that Obama nearly took Indiana -- clearly, not with the help of these morons. What a great big tent you got there, Hillary Clinton. Or are you just happy to see me?

Thursday, May 15, 2008

West Virginia is Gay! (Part Deux): No Interviews Please!

Here are some gems from last night's Daily Show, answering the question,

"Why was West Virginia so heavily behind one particular candidate?"

"Something approaching an aversion for Barack Obama. He's simply not their kind of guy."

"I'm sorta scared of the other race....."

"He's muslim and that has a lot to do with it" (at 2:21).

With the prize going to this chud (at 2:23):

"I don't like the Hussein thing. I've had enough of Hussein."

You know, that "thing...." Uh, that "Hussein thing". Nobody likes the Hussein thing! Ew!

Goodness golly.

. . . and poor Dalton Hatfield, who walks to school and to home again, to NOT play video games!

Monday, May 12, 2008

West Virginia is Gay!

Here’s a state I really admire, and which should definitely be viewed as the most important state in the Democratic primary so far, since it accurately represents the ideals of the American mixing pot:
West Virginia . . . has few . . . African-Americans and affluent, college-educated whites . . . . The state has the lowest college graduation rate in the US, the second lowest median household income, and one of the highest proportions of white residents, at 96 per cent.
The point isn’t that Obama’s got a snowball’s chance here. Rather it’s that Billary likes to stoke the resentment, feed on the inferiority, and float racist balloons for all the "white ethnics" to gawk and cluck at:
"Hillary is in this race because of people like you and places like this. . . . And no matter how much fun they make of your support of her and the fact that working people all over America have stuck with her, she thinks you're as smart as they are. She thinks you've got as much right to have your say as anybody else.
She really thinks this? She’s in this race for lil’ ol’ Ripley, West Virginia? You mean that butthole of a town with a total population of 3,263? Yeah right.

Here’s what the West Virginians - the “real” Americans who are as smart as anyone (forget about their low college graduation rates) - think of Obama, that candidate with the yucky Hussein name who's in clear violation of the “one drop” rule:
Most people questioned said they mistrusted Mr Obama because of doubts about his patriotism and “values”, stemming from his cosmopolitan background, his exotic name and the controversy surrounding “anti-American” sermons by Jeremiah Wright, his former pastor. Several people said they believed he was a Muslim – an unfounded rumour that has circulated on the internet for months – despite the contradiction with his 20-year membership of Mr Wright’s church in Chicago. Others mentioned his refusal to wear a Stars and Stripes badge and controversial remarks by his wife, Michelle, who described America as “mean” and implied that she had never been proud of the US until her husband ran for president.
Let these people speak I say! Let them vote! They are white. They are dumb. They are boring! They are . . . sigh . . . American. THEY decide the future of this country, after all. Ok, “Josh,” take it away, boy:
Josh Fry, a 24-year-old ambulance driver from Williamson, insisted he was not racist but said he would feel more comfortable with Mr McCain, the 71-year-old Vietnam war hero, in the White House. “I want someone who is a full-blooded American as president,” he said.
Insisting you’re not racist is like insisting you’re not gay (“I’M NOT GAY, I SWEAR TO GOD!!!”). If you deny it, you are it.

Josh Fry is gay!!!

Josh Fry is gay!!!

Josh Fry is gay!!!

Josh Fry is gay!!!

Josh Fry is gay!!!

. . . and so is West Virginia.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

What People are Saying about Marquess Hillary "the fighter" Rodham-Clinton, Tah Tah

Some Outcomes

ornovscot: I would not be surprised by her attempting to secure the vice presidential nomination, if she is not already doing so.

UsofA: Clinton has now begun using her powerfully placed friends, both in and out of the media, to float the idea of her deserving the offer of the Vice Presidency. She will repeatedly deny this, but I know it to be so. Additionally, and most incredibly, she has insinuated that if Obama doesn't offer the post to her, she will drag out appeals to the delegate rules committee on any and all issues she can concoct and thus, drag down the Democratic convention. Meanwhile, personal friends of Hillary Clinton, like Ms. Hilary Rosen (see her Huffington Post blog today), are being platooned to get out there and placate us all as to Clinton's true intentions. Apparently, a stake in the heart is the only thing that's going to rid us of Clinton's toxicity.

Houstonking: If the DNC seats the delegates in these states without any punishment, how is the DNC to control the sequence of primaries in the future? Besides the fact that Hillary knew that these delegates were not to be seated before Iowa, her approach feels much more about her than the party (again).

Tinsdale: The Detroit Free Press released news of a proposed resolution for the Democratic Primary which gives Hillary Clinton 69 delegates and Senator Obama 59. This compromise was soundly opposed by Hillary Clinton. The article states: “In a refusal that channels Zimbabwe politcs, Senator Clinton refused this agreement because it does not give her enough to win the nomination. She apparently wants ALL of the delegates in Michigan since she "won" that primary and Obama had no votes. Never mind that in violation of the rules, she was the only candidate on the ballot.”

The Ideology

StillIRise: This evening when I got into my car, I decided to listen to Sean to see how he is spinning Tuesday's election outcome, and guess who his guest was ... Lanny Davis! Not so surprising after seeing Clinton on O'Reilly and after a month of GOP's aiding and abetting Clinton's campaign with attacks on Obama. In the course of their conversation, as Lanny and Sean agreed with one another on every issue concerning Senator Obama and the prospect of Senator Clinton still pulling this off, they began a harmonious discussion about Reverend Wright; and Lanny made the comment, "Even though we were BOTH criticized for bringing this issue to the public ...," thereby acknowledging that he, whom we all know as the spokesperson for the Clinton campaign, was not only directly involved in putting Reverend Wright in the spotlight, but it can also be inferred that they (the Clinton campaign) were working in concert with Sean Hannity and Fox News to disparage Reverend Wright and Senator Obama. If anyone had tuned into Sean's program, and not known who Lanny is, they would have assumed that it was two Republicans discussing the Democratic election, both showing unabashed sympathy for Senator Clinton and her campaign, and unabashed disdain for Senator Obama. How can anyone still believe that Senator Clinton is working within Democratic values FOR the Democratic Party?

The Problem

k8k9: She may be saying to herself that if she doesn't win the nomination it won't be because she didn't try everything in the book. Only problem is that the book is missing a few chapters, including "How to Be Successful in Life Without Selling Out Your Own Party."

Thursday, May 01, 2008

W is for Worst President in History (Duh)

Well, surprise, surprise:

WASHINGTON (CNN) — A new poll suggests that George W. Bush is the most unpopular president in modern American history.

A CNN/Opinion Research Corporation survey released Thursday indicates that 71 percent of the American public disapprove of how Bush his handling his job as president.

CNN Senior Political Analyst Bill Schneider adds, "He is more unpopular than Richard Nixon was just before he resigned from the presidency in August 1974." President Nixon's disapproval rating in August 1974 stood at 67 percent.

To all you fuck faces who voted for him in 2000 and ESPECIALLY in 2004, and were too stupid to face the facts, AS IF by 2004 you didn't have ample evidence that Bush is a fucktard:


Sunday, April 20, 2008

Mad Season - X Ray Mind

I will always miss Layne Staley. His work drilled to the center of my psyche more deeply and searchingly than did Kurt's. Just the way it happened. Both are great. Layne is my boy tho. Let's go:

Monday, March 31, 2008

Female Flirtation

Interesting article: students at Indiana University “were shown photographs of women and asked to categorise them as friendly, sexually interested, sad or rejecting. The male students were far less accurate than the females at interpreting the body language, and were particularly baffled by the difference between flirty and friendly gestures.”
The researchers also found that women overestimate men's ability to pick up on sexual signals. They argue that many females wrongly believe that the men are well aware of their attempts to woo, but are just not interested in responding. In contrast, women are very aware that males get the wrong end of the stick when they are simply being friendly.

Best- selling author Kathy Lette said the research proved that women are far more fluent in body language. "It is really confusing for women," she said. "The average bloke either doesn't realise that we fancy him until we are giving birth to his children in the labour ward; or he presumes all women fancy him all the time.”

Jamesinthegiantpeach in the UK, chimes in, saying: “Many men would rather just ignore the signs women throw out than misinterpret them and risk getting into trouble. Women, if you want sex or whatever, don't play these stupid games, tell the guy I think you're hot and get on with it.”

Edward from London says: “The other way of interpreting this is that women are not very good at communicating clearly. The dysfunction in communication is generally the sender's responsibility, not the receivers.”

So what's the deal? I personally never had trouble like this, so perhaps men are stupid and can be criticized for never "closing," but let's hear from some women about this.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Monday, February 25, 2008

Dream Weaver

I'm freaking out about how fucking awesome this song was, and is. Seriously. When I first heard this as a kid in 1976, it was like mainlining some serious ontology. Those synths really move the soul. I heard this song for the first time and discovered the universe, it seemed. I discovered loss, too. How weird that my ol' school friend James Bogdan got his hand nearly ripped off by some amusement park ride at the time, and THIS was the song I associated with that kid, my best friend in Pittsburgh, back in the day. Shit.



Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Michael Hardt, Empire & Multitude: Democracy Manifestos

Just when it seems that there are no longer any big ideas around except dumb ones, Michael Hardt, an internationally renowned political theorist from Duke University, and his co-author, Antonio Negri, are publishing important books that are big in every sense of the term: Empire (2000) and Multitude (2004). In these works, they diagnose the contemporary global order and describe the conditions that can lead to its democratization, not from the barrel of a gun but through the productive and creative capacities that inhere in the Multitude - i.e., in us in all our differences.

Lest this all seem like Benetton multiculturalism, hold on. Hardt's explanations about our global condition are defamiliarizing, fresh, and sometimes funny in their yoking together of the wild oppositions that typically make headlines, if not the pablum of talk radio: the postmodernists are shown to bear affinities with religious fundamentalists; democracy falls on the side of war; violence is the condition for peace; and - yes - multiculturalism emerges as the best of marketing strategies. It is a problem that these opposites are identical. And for Hardt, the problem is that we are passing into a new age, in which new modes of political being that are full of creative and democratic potential compete with the new methods of state and corporate control. Their question is, Who will win the escalating tussle? Humanity or Social Control in all its forms? The Multitude or Empire?

Refusing the glib protocols of academic deconstruction (yawn), and endeavoring in every way to write books are that are readable and erudite, they leisurely sketch out the bigger picture that is Empire - their word for the social, political, and economic power of global capitalism. Think of Empire this way: If the older coercive forms of monopoly capitalism could be depicted in a 1904 cartoon as the giant octopus of Standard Oil, sitting on top of the world with its tentacles around U.S. Capitol Buildings and hapless minor businessmen, Empire is a different creature altogether, with no center, no body. It diffuses itself globally and rhizomically and constrains our desire to work, love, and live without fear. In explaining Empire, Hardt juxtaposes industrial labor and the newer forms of "affective labor" in the service economy (including information, media, internet, and fast food services). And it is here that Empire is shown to be susceptible to the genuine democratic possibilities of the Multitude, the total aggregate of self-actualizing individuals who realize the "life in common" through communication, collaboration, and cooperation.

"The challenge of the multitude," he writes, "is the challenge of democracy. The multitude is the only social subject capable of realizing democracy, that is, the rule of everyone by everyone." Of course, Empire will always proclaim to champion democracy but in practical terms democracy is its own "sed noli modo" ("but not yet"!): power is just too addictive, just as premarital sex was irresistible for Augustine. It is for that reason that democracy can only be put into practice by a "radical insurrectional demand" from the Multitude. On this point, Hardt concludes: "We can already recognize that today time is already split between a present that is already dead and a future that is already living - and the yawning abyss between them is becoming enormous. In time, an event will thrust us like an arrow into that living future. This will be the real political act of love."

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Verify The Alternative (Verifying Alternatives then as now)

This is a Super8 film from May 1986 that my buddies and I made (and starred in) for a project for Mrs. Beckman's New Media class at Naperville North High School. The same cast of characters, and the same protagonist as in Ninja, our other hit video, with which this film evinces intertextual connections.

This film was shot on location in McDowel Woods, off River Road in Naperville, and edited with tape and that splicing implement on loan from the top floor of the library. We all wish we made the film a bit longer. I distinctly recall being cast as a preacher, and I came to the shoot in my '78 Buick Park Avenue with a blue suit on and my hair completely hairsprayed down, but somehow the monkish theme became irresistible -- let alone suffocating and noxious, as you will soon see.

That said, it's fair to say that there's something appropriately surreal in its brevity -- all the way to its irresolute ending. Then there's the weird broadside at the beginning credits depicting some celestial irruption in the medieval fashion of a flaming face shouting at you unnecessarily, breathlessly, and extremely loudly from the heavens after coursing through the darkest reaches of goddamn where daemons and spheroids alike are borne in their inbreathed comminglings: it's come to say you suck, so smile!

Oh, I'm not sure why the sound is so low. It was fine in the original file.

Name the tunes!!!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

What Obama Needs to Do (and Do Now)

GBDH writes in to the Obama campaign with the following advice:

My brief suggestion to O: use the word "Clintonian" as a pejorative, and tell O to offer remarks such as, "Here is another Clintonian strategy of twisting the truth and changing positions. The only change in Hillary's campaign is a change of position when it suits the politics of the moment."

The point: "Clintonian" will merge Hillary and Bill in the minds of the public, and will evoke the worst of Clintonian politics, to which - I'm afraid - your campaign is succumbing.

Make "Clintonian" a bad word. Do to "Clintonian" what Limbaugh and then later Rove have done to "liberal."

I'm not saying be Rove-like. I am saying that O's rhetorical abilities need to be refined towards better soundbites and pejoratives to defeat the Clintons (PLURAL), who are too deft at floating smear balloons.

I honestly don't think you have much time to save this, and I want O to be prez. PLEASE DO THIS, and go O!

Friday, January 11, 2008

Clinton Racism

Here’s the latest racist shit coming from the Hillary campaign - in the words of one of her advisors: "If you have a social need, you're with Hillary. If you want Obama to be your imaginary hip black friend and you're young and you have no social needs, then he's cool."

Or in the words of Hillary's pollster, Sergio Bendixen:
The Hispanic voter—and I want to say this very carefully—has not shown a lot of willingness or affinity to support black candidates.
So the Hispanic vote is the latest firewall for February 5: “In all honesty, the Hispanic vote is extremely important to the Clinton campaign, and the polls have shown—and today is not a great day to cite polls—that even though she was slipping with women in Iowa and blacks in South Carolina, she was not slipping with Hispanics,” he said. “The fire wall doesn’t apply now, because she is in good shape, but before last night the Hispanic vote was going to be the most important part of her fire wall on February 5th.” You can bet they will stir up racial animosity to assure the firewall is in place, and working. They'll stir it up by saying Obama's campaign is stirring it up.

Or in the words of Hillary:

I mean, who needs all those Civil Rights leaders when you have a President? Maybe racist isn't the word for this one. How about stupid? Her reply to the charges?: “Clearly, we know from media reports that the Obama campaign is deliberately distorting this. . . . It is such an unfair and unwarranted attempt to, you know, misinterpret and mischaracterize what I’ve said.” No, Mrs. Bill Clinton: you are distorting this. You think LBJ would have given a flyin’, flagellatin’ rat’s ass about Civil Rights if it weren’t for MLK. Do you? You think that the nation would never have awakened itself to its racist abuses if it weren’t for LBJ? You think that January 21, 2008 should be renamed LBJ day? Has MLK’s dream even been realized when you and you're campaign are talking this shit? How dare you go there. Man, what a fucking cynical campaign you have.

Combine Hillary's stupidity with her team's racist balloons floating hither and thither and you have a real Rovian campaign strategy. You're aimin' to win! And that's the point. The Hillary Campaign is taking a page from the playbook of that sissy fatXfuck Karl Rove, who says of Obama: "His trash talking was an unattractive carryover from his days playing pickup basketball at Harvard. . . . He is often lazy, given to misstatements and exaggerations and, when he doesn't know the answer, too ready to try to bluff his way through." Basketball? Just had to say it. Lazy? Ditto. Where's "welfare cheat"? "Pimp"? "House negro"? "Half breed?" What Karl, what? What do you really want to say?

I’m sick of this shit, and more sick of it from the Clintons -- all that crap coming from buttholeXmouth of American’s so-called "First Black President." EAT A BAG OF DICKS (with Ranch).

My response to all this? I’ve donated to a political campaign for the first time in my life, and am mailing my check on my way to the gym. [done and done]

Go O

This is war. It’s the soccer moms, blurry but imminently fuckable and strategically placed bourgeois redheads waving and “wooooing” and snapping digi-photos on TV behind Hillary in NH, and old ladies VS Everyone Else who gives a shit about history (and remembers it) and cares about the future of this country.

Come on bruthas and sistas. Get on board with this! I'm sick of this shit, and of course, stupid ass white people aren't gonna go out of their way to help you -- at least not Hillary voters: all the more reason to get fired up.


MORE Clinton egginess (1/13/08):

Her interpretation of the Tears to the White House ploy:
"I'm very 'other' directed — I don't like talking about myself.... For me, it's always about, ‘What can I do for you? How can I help you?' And I was very touched when that woman said, 'How are you doing? How do you get up in the morning?'" [Source]
Ah, ain't that precious. What this is, in fact, is Hillary absorbing the MSM's points about how Obama's speeches are oriented toward what "you" and "we can do," and Hillary is "I," what "I will do for you." This is a nice flip-flop, and another bit of rewriting recent history and robbing from the great O.

Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters

Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Hillary Must Go Down (In Tears)

I can't take it anymore. I can't stand Hillary Clinton. Goddamn her and her poll driven, equivocating bullshit. Look, I voted for Bill Clinton in '92 and danced in front of the TV at Susan Morgan's house with some of the readers here when he won the presidency. I loved it. But I don't love it now (and Bill Clinton is beginning to look like an asshole, but that's another post).

Case in point. The tears episode. Here's Hillary's interpretation of her historic pseudo-sobbing:
"Maybe I have liberated us to actually let women be human beings in public," she said.
Hillary has liberated American women who are now free to burn their bras and their burqas in tribute to her wounded narcissism and their collective, newfound humanity. Give me a fucking break. How many tears have you shed over your vote for W's War? ZERO. Why, because you are not human. And yeah, we're still waiting to hear you say you're "sorry" about that one.

Anyway, did you see the offending video? I don't want to see her face on my awesome rockin' blog, so go here for a look, and think about rule one of gestural analysis: anyone who puts their hand on their face while talking/crying/whatevering – as if they are posing for a fucking author photo on a book jacket – is FAKING IT. And those two words are Hillary's middle name, now that she's not expediently Rodhaming it.

Oh, and fuck you all you old ladies for falling for this shit and voting for her in NH. Stop voting with your pussies, and start thinking with your dicks, as this is politics.