Tuesday, May 31, 2005


Hey Girls,
This time, it's a special post for all those lady monkeys who don't fart, bopping and singing songs in the car during awesome summer times!!!

Make sure to set your media player to Repeat!

ENJOY, and see you at the show!!!:

it's a special post for all thody fGirl Monchichi CLICK ME! who like to bop and sg songs! Make sure to set your mediae player to

Thursday, May 26, 2005


Human monkeys will inevitably develop the capacity to communicate telepathically. It makes sense, really, when you think about how exposed to communicative mediae we are, and how frequently we communicate ever more immediately in the temporal sense. GET ON EMAIL! CHECK YOUR PHONE! READ YOUR TEXTS! Our understanding the transformative mechanism, however, the way in which the temporal sense of immediation will give ground to the spatial sense, will be in a deep theorizing of the evolution of HOW we communicate: increasingly, by grammatical and syntactical substraction, by using fewer and fewer articles, vowels, and words, as is initially evident on instant messaging and texting. "o w." What? That's what I text to Zukinemi when I want her to know that I am "On my way" and that it’s time to get Chef Ming’s forthwith, which then got truncated in time and custom to "On way" which got reduced to "o w." This is a quaint example. Clearly, the success of such fragmentary communication is presupposed by the recipient already knowing the message, having successfully traversed the Entwicklung der Sprache. But that's the point! Amplify this on a grander scale and project the scenario even 100 modest years down the road where intermediation, the utter saturation of media and its engines, assures that we all will speak and think a lingua franca of such plentiful fragmentation, and we may all be at a point where our languages of mediation will be quite sparse and economical and homogenous. An even broader sort of transformation will take place with newer, more interactive media the likes of which we cannot yet fathom but which by their integumental devices will bear forth this calculus of language, a reduction of verbosity to an infinite and singular point of spontaneous knowing for all, and by consequence a reduction of literariness and desire: Enter the Monkey, whose communications lapse from On My Way to ow to owwwwwwwww, the plain noise of the desire to consume whatever whenever.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Ok you internet clicker biotches, decipher this!:


Saturday, May 21, 2005

SITH; or, You know how guys are!

Brotherhoods break down when it comes to chics in the same way that, paradoxically, entire civilizations are founded upon the worship of Woman. So, too, are societies formed on the common bond that is Star Wars, but ever so evanescent are these ties when such societies are vanquished for the sake of individual fancy, as evidenced here:
Date: Sat, 21 May 2005 12:44:07 -0400
From: apt13.com
Cc: Lord of Locusts
Subject: club

i have joined the "i couldn't wait until monday" club.
so fuck y'all.

Friday, May 20, 2005



HONK BARK . . . Read on!

Post: Monkey Theory Related Item.
Transmission: Tonite After Fucking.
Purpose: To strive to inquire to conquer.
Incantation: Olim homo sapiens semper home sapiens!

Imperative: GET INTO IT.
Random Cultural Referent in Lyrical Form:

Like Alice marries,
like Greg grooves,
like Marcia marches,
like Peter pubesces,
like Jan wins, like Bobby
like Cindy is,
it ain’t gonna happen.

Link: This one.

Monday, May 16, 2005

This post is about FUCKING

Actually, it's about Art, you sex crazed Monkeys.

GBDH has gone by many minor monikers established by his trusty cohort, one notable one being THE WHALE. And once THE WHALE was accused of being a one KOKO the GORILLA fawning over a KITTEN one hot afternoon at 1190 Gregson Avenue, Durham NC, 27701. The present author admits that this is actually a rather precise description of his person, and his love of art. The present author also likes the number ONE.

Fuck you and check out the Gorilla Art and tell me WHICH PIECE is your favorite! Be sure to click on the INFO links, too, because some of the descriptions, particularly those involving MICHAEL the GORILLA's art, are amazing.

Tell one, tell all,


Thursday, May 12, 2005

Field Notes

On my recent perigrinations, I've had ample opportunity to observe a variety of instantiations of Monkey Theory -- in driving, in brutality sensationalized on the news, at restaurants, and even in my Dear Sister's family of internecine teens. The present author suffers from limitations of a sundry but namely temporal sort in his disability to relay informationes. But he can report this article, begging leave of his distant coterie that a more full disquisition on Monkey Theory will follow at his leisure. Suffice it to say that the article concerns a theory authored by other researchers -- namely, the theory that we migrated out of Africa along coastlines -- which I largely support, as it explains our lack of body hair: that is, we were water apes, once cavorting with our smooth skinned compeer, the clicking dolphin.

In closing, let me say that I was recently asked by an awkwardly hirsute interloper at an oak paneled Italian restaurant that shall remain nameless as to "what happens when an Alpha Male such as myself enters into this social group?" I approached the young man and pronounced to him and the surrounding crowd of females, "He becomes a Beta Male . . . instantly."

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Hiatus Poem

The crowns of my domestication,
my new slippers.
Three piece sluts.
I long to return home from a day
about reading about
Corbusier’s naked man.
Slide into my slippers.
There are many ors.
Sometimes be the idea of somebody else.