Friday, September 22, 2006

Baby Dies in Bucket of Mom's Vomit

Baby Dies in Bucket of Mom's Vomit

By ADAM GOLDMAN
The Associated Press Friday, September 22, 2006; 3:58 PM

NEW YORK -- A baby died after rolling off a bed and falling into a bucket of her teenage mother's vomit at a homeless shelter, police said.

The mother, Savarin DeJesus, 18, was charged with criminally negligent homicide and endangering the welfare of a child, and could get five years behind bars.

The young woman trembled and wept as she faced a judge Friday. "I loved my baby. I want you to know that," she said.

Authorities said DeJesus spent the evening of Sept. 15 downing gin and smoking cigarettes and then returned before dawn to the shelter where she lived with the 4-month old girl, Niah.

DeJesus threw up into a bucket of cleaning solution next to her bed, then passed out on the bed, clutching Niah's legs, authorities said.

When she awoke about 10 hours later, she found the baby with her head in the bucket, which contained about six inches of liquid, according to court papers.

The cause of death was either asphyxiation or drowning, the medical examiner's office said.
DeJesus "loved her baby and would never hurt her," said her lawyer, Kenneth Gilbert.

The city's Department of Homeless Services said it was trying to determine if the East Harlem shelter had a crib.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

GAS is cheap. Therefore, I love President Bush, again! YAY!

Forget all I’ve thought and said, those mistaken words about Bush as an idiotic, felonious, impeachable President! I can now fill up my SUV and take my spoiled white kids to an out of district school, because the local one is too crappy and black (sssshhhh, don’t tell anyone!). I love you President Bush! I was wrong to question you. I now see that I cut and run on you. I am so sorry for lapsing into an "Al Qaeda type" worldview. I don’t know what I was thinking when I supported the Fascists. How could I have ever blamed you for Katrina, warrantless wiretapping, shunting the Geneva Conventions, the Kyoto Protocols, Stem Cell research, establishing energy policies that shaft the citizens and fatten the corporate fat cats, intelligence failures on 9/11, misleading the country to invade another, ignoring military advice not to invade, poorly arming our troops (not to mention skipping out on military service during Vietnam), giving up the hunt for Bin Laden, failing to fire Donald Rumsfield over these mistakes, disclosing the identity of a CIA agent working under cover, dropping the ball on Iran and North Korea, and spending more time on vacation than in the Oval Office.

Oh, goodness, this is all much too much for my fat suburban ass. All I know is that gas is cheap, and I’m staying the course!

Monday, September 18, 2006

How Do Computers Enjoy Porn?

Here's how. What follows is a spamblaster assessing an email that JUST may concern porn.

1.9 FREE_PREVIEW BODY: Free Preview
0.7 ALL_CAP_PORN BODY: Possible porn - in ALL CAPS
0.0 HOT_NASTY BODY: Possible porn - Hot, Nasty, Wild, Young
0.1 LINES_OF_YELLING_2 BODY: 2 WHOLE LINES OF YELLING DETECTED
0.1 HTML_FONT_BIG BODY: HTML has a big font
0.0 LINES_OF_YELLING BODY: A WHOLE LINE OF YELLING DETECTED
0.5 HTML_40_50 BODY: Message is 40% to 50% HTML
0.6 SUBJ_ALL_CAPS Subject is all capitals
0.0 UPPERCASE_75_100 message body is 75-100% uppercase

I said, JUST MAY concern porn:

---------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 15 Sep 2006 17:44:34 +0400
From: REAL HARD FUCKING CONTENT
To: [----]
Subject: A GIRL MADE TO FUCK HARD

EXTREME PORN SITE ISSUED
* EXCLUSIVE CONTENT*

REAL HARD FUCKING CONTENT, TOP QUALITY MATERIAL

FUCKING PERVERT GUY PETER IS AFTER ANY YOUNG AND INNOCENT TEENIE GIRL

LARGE FREE PREVIEW

ALL HOLES WILL BE HARDLY FUCKED!

YOU SHOULD WATCH THE SHOW OF REAL NEVERSEEN BEFORE HARDCORE SEX!!

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Researchers identify 'male warrior effect' [HITHERTO NEVER PERCEIVED IN THE HISTORY OF CIVILIZATION]

NORWICH, England (Reuters) -- Men may have developed a psychology that makes them particularly able to engage in wars, a scientist said on Friday. [THIS "MAY HAVE" SEEMS FISHY TO ME....]

New research has shown that men bond together and cooperate well in the face of adversity to protect their interests more than women, which could explain why war is almost exclusively a male business, according to Professor Mark van Vugt of the University of Kent in southern England. [OK, HOLD ON RIGHT THERE, YOU CRAZY SCIENTIST WITH YOUR PURPORTED "NEW RESEARCH." WAR AN EXCLUSIVELY MALE BUSINESS? TALK ABOUT RUSHING TO CONCLUSIONS! WHERE'S THE BEEF IN THIS BUN?]

"Men respond more strongly to outward threats, we've labeled that the 'man warrior effect'," he told the British Association for the Advancement of Science meeting. [DON'T TRY TO DRESS THIS UP WITH FANCY PHRASEOLOGIES. "WE'VE LABELED THAT THE ‘BLAH BLAH BLAH EFFECT'." WHATEVER! WE NEED EVIDENCE!]

"Men are more likely to support a country going to war. Men are more likely sign up for the military and men are more likely to lead groups in more autocratic, militaristic ways than women," he added. [WHAT'S THIS "MORE LIKELY" MALARKY? I SEE NO EVIDENCE THAT MEN ARE "INTO" WAR. I'M SENSING THE "LIBERAL MEDIA" HERE WISHING TO BASH MEN! NOW THERE'S A WARRIOR EFFECT FOR YA!]

Van Vugt said the finding is consistent with results from different behavioral science disciplines [BUT LARGELY INCONSISTENT WITH HISTORICAL RESEARCH AND COMMON SENSE. . . . B-U-L-L-Y-E-A-H!].

In experiments with 300 university men and women students, Van Vugt and his team gave the volunteers small sums of money which they could either keep or invest in a common fund that would be doubled and equally divided. None of the students knew what the others were doing. ["EE VILL KONDUKT AN EX-SPEARMINT BECAUS EE HAVE A NO-SHUN."]

Both sexes cooperated in investing in the fund. But when the groups were told they were competing against other universities, the males were more eager to invest rather than keep their money while the number of women contributing remained the same. ["THIS IS THE EYE IN THE SKY SPEAKING: YOU ARE COMPETING WITH OTHER GROUPS. COMPETING. COMPETING. KILL. KILL."]

"We all know males are more aggressive than females," Van Vugt said, adding that co-operation is needed to establish institutions and governments and to wage wars. [PHOOEY. ROYAL WE, SHMOYAL WE. WHAT'S COPRATION?]

"Male co-operation is a double-edged sword," he added.
[SO SAITH THE LARD.]

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