Researchers identify 'male warrior effect' [HITHERTO NEVER PERCEIVED IN THE HISTORY OF CIVILIZATION]

NORWICH, England (Reuters) -- Men may have developed a psychology that makes them particularly able to engage in wars, a scientist said on Friday. [THIS "MAY HAVE" SEEMS FISHY TO ME....]

New research has shown that men bond together and cooperate well in the face of adversity to protect their interests more than women, which could explain why war is almost exclusively a male business, according to Professor Mark van Vugt of the University of Kent in southern England. [OK, HOLD ON RIGHT THERE, YOU CRAZY SCIENTIST WITH YOUR PURPORTED "NEW RESEARCH." WAR AN EXCLUSIVELY MALE BUSINESS? TALK ABOUT RUSHING TO CONCLUSIONS! WHERE'S THE BEEF IN THIS BUN?]

"Men respond more strongly to outward threats, we've labeled that the 'man warrior effect'," he told the British Association for the Advancement of Science meeting. [DON'T TRY TO DRESS THIS UP WITH FANCY PHRASEOLOGIES. "WE'VE LABELED THAT THE ‘BLAH BLAH BLAH EFFECT'." WHATEVER! WE NEED EVIDENCE!]

"Men are more likely to support a country going to war. Men are more likely sign up for the military and men are more likely to lead groups in more autocratic, militaristic ways than women," he added. [WHAT'S THIS "MORE LIKELY" MALARKY? I SEE NO EVIDENCE THAT MEN ARE "INTO" WAR. I'M SENSING THE "LIBERAL MEDIA" HERE WISHING TO BASH MEN! NOW THERE'S A WARRIOR EFFECT FOR YA!]

Van Vugt said the finding is consistent with results from different behavioral science disciplines [BUT LARGELY INCONSISTENT WITH HISTORICAL RESEARCH AND COMMON SENSE. . . . B-U-L-L-Y-E-A-H!].

In experiments with 300 university men and women students, Van Vugt and his team gave the volunteers small sums of money which they could either keep or invest in a common fund that would be doubled and equally divided. None of the students knew what the others were doing. ["EE VILL KONDUKT AN EX-SPEARMINT BECAUS EE HAVE A NO-SHUN."]

Both sexes cooperated in investing in the fund. But when the groups were told they were competing against other universities, the males were more eager to invest rather than keep their money while the number of women contributing remained the same. ["THIS IS THE EYE IN THE SKY SPEAKING: YOU ARE COMPETING WITH OTHER GROUPS. COMPETING. COMPETING. KILL. KILL."]

"We all know males are more aggressive than females," Van Vugt said, adding that co-operation is needed to establish institutions and governments and to wage wars. [PHOOEY. ROYAL WE, SHMOYAL WE. WHAT'S COPRATION?]

"Male co-operation is a double-edged sword," he added.
[SO SAITH THE LARD.]

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