One year ago today, we restored sovereignty to the Iraqi people

Gay Republicans are Gay. So, too, are Black Republicans. Fuck you if you have a problem with that. Onto more National news. I saw the town hall meeting on MSNBC with Chris Matthews, a forum set to discuss the president’s speech last night. Are there REALLY people who think that Bush’s speech said ANYTHING to clarify what’s going on in Iraq, or what we are doing there, or why we went? Old questions, I know, but impeachable offenses, which of course don't rise to the level of a High Crime evidenced by a jizzed upon blue dress. I mean, a true gentleman would daub you with his briefs post coitus. Yet listening to that meeting, I began to realize that there’s a general lack of Critical Thinking in the US population, as when I hear the mother of a US soldier say, "It was re-assuring to hear our president address the nation and discuss his plans for I-raq." Shut up. Listen, Laura Ashley, I’m sorry your life sucks and that you worry about your son. I’m sorry that it makes you feel better to believe in SOMETHING, to believe that a man who looks like the Mad Magazine Guy actually cares about you or your son. But don’t go on national television and expect me to listen to your stupid bullshit, because you are still an uneducated idiot who clearly doesn’t read much and who lacks any skill in analyzing canned language.

If I sound like a fucker for saying that, then, Haha, NOT SORRY. Which leads me to this: you often hear the conservative complaint that Universities are filled with Lefties. Guess what? You need a PhD to teach in one. Ever think about this as YOUR problem - ie., your obvious lack of intellect, cultural sophistication, or education? Don't blame me for your stupidity, and don't make me teach some magical bullshit as to the origins of the World because you are unable to think. What's at work here is not only the bizarre fantasy of "Think for yourself." In fact, I disavow that bullshit notion, because no one thinks for himself or herself: you think by learning, and you learn to think. Thinking for yourself only leads to "opinions" that are inevitably suburban and gay. There remains also this bizarre fantasy for "balance" in education. First, teach Evolution, which is already a self-correcting theory (any scientist will tell you that); then, teach BULLSHIT, but WHAT is it that you are teaching? What the fuck IS intelligent design, and do I teach the Catholic, Methodist, Hindoo, or Baptist version, or ALL OF THEM? And do literature professors even teach this shit? For me, this all translates into the following classroom protocol: "OK, class, Beowulf is about a Danish hero. BUT, we have to value the other side because they are stupid and need to be placated because they have a modicum of political power and are recognized by Politicians Without Balls (PWB), so write this down right next to that: Beowulf is about a used car salesman trying to make his way." I'm going to do this for now on in my lectures. But I see the point: it's just too FRENCH to value intellectuals, much less education or facts. If educated persons who read broadly not only in global issues but in the humanities procline lefwardly, that might mean something, DUUUUUUH. Don't blame intellectuals. If you feel left out or less than "elite," then go read a fucking book or two, moron, go learn a language or three, go TRAVEL somewhere and leave your pale American cultural values behind, for you can eat at McDonald's when you get back. Be humble. You are too stupid to be mean. And if you are stupid, then your opinions are GAY.

Will someone PLEASE fucking tar and feather Carl Cameron?

I'd put a caption here, but doing so forces me to use the word "gay" once again.