It's So Cold in the D

Readers are required to watch this a minimum of 6 times:

Debra Bartoshevich

Dear Deb,

Can I call you Deb? Anyway, there's a moist steaming plate of shit over which you can die once you've eaten it. And psssst, as a former Hillary Delegate now supporting McCain, you can saddle up to Joe Lieberman and share a fresh bag of dicks, great for dipping into aforementioned concoction. Ok, I admit it, I was always baffled by Bush voters, especially those who voted for him in 2004, but you and your idiotic lot take the fucking cake. No wonder the Democratic party dumped you as a delegate. It hurts to be dumped doesn't it? Well, cackle about that, because your candidate HRC ran a terrible, I would say evil campaign, thanks to Mark Penn (you see the recent memos, lady?). And you call yourself a "self-respecting woman"? Deb, I hope you live to see your stupid ugly children suffer in the world you helped to make if McCain steals this one. Fuck you.

Thanks!
GBDH

SunnyD[ick]

Man, I'm thirsty for a drink of Sunny D, bloggers beverage of choice:













I mean, I just wanna grab this drink and drink it:




















I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT THAT IS WHAT I FUCKING WANT TO DO. I WANT TO FUCKING DRINK THIS DRINK FUCKING.

[so does Apt13, who supplied these fucking lovely drawings on his boss's time]

Boo, I'm back, and Ready for Halloween. Check out the descriptions of these lovely products, and click on the links if you daaaaaare

BOBBED WIRE PROP
This is a brand new design. This guy has been ripped in half then chained to a pole with sections of his skin being pulled by barbed wire. His arms, face, stomach are all barbed wired. This is a life size torso. When hung it's one big prop.

BLOOD SOAKED FEMALE VICTIM
Head is severed and eyes are ripped out and her wrists are slit. She is suspended with exposed bone in her wrists. She's gutted and carved to her leg bones. Height is 5'7 " tall.

BAGGED AND KICKING
Tortured Hanging man trashes violently in a sit up position while screaming and being eaten by rats while covered with a burlap bag. Life Sized Animatronic comes with hanging chains, character with burlap bag and rats, motion sensor, controller, sound system with rat and man screaming sounds.

SHOTGUN BLAST JUMPER
Ahh… there is nothing like a fresh kill, unfortunately it will be you. Splattered man sits hunched over with brains exposed and plenty of them strewn about. Shotgun Blast starts to trash violently in a hunched over position and then sits up quickly, he then screams and jumps up to a standing position with his shotgun in his hand. Life Sized Animatronic comes with chair, motion sensor, character, controller and sound system with sound of man screaming.

BOUND
This Bound corpse will stop them in their tracks. Well constructed, she can sit as shown, stand upright using stand or be laid on a bed or table. Arms and legs are semi-poseable and the best feature of this gal is her dead stare. Lifelike ripped out eyes she looks so real. You get all seen here. The corpse, the bound rope and bound mouth and eyes, ripped and bloody dress.

THE TORTURE CHAIR
Victim thrashes violently as saw blade and battery strobes. The Torture Chair comes complete with Buzz Saw with Strobe light, Battery with Battery Cables and strobe light. Pail, Full Life-sized Body and Torture Chair with Head rest with nails with flesh hanging off. This uncomfortable to watch animatronic is made with Lifelike details.

And for the dogXlovers....

K-9 CORPSE PROP
Life size large bone dog corpse with stand. This Decayed Dog Features layers of gory detail, fur, eyeballs, muscle detail and plenty of exposed intestine.

Nostril vs. Tendril

By idsvilbarva, guest blogger

One envelops odors and aromas while serving an important aesthetic purpose for the outer appearance of the nose.

One wraps itself around other objects for structural support in order to grow and expand its reach. Its aesthetic is the spiral pattern sometimes found in nature.

We report. You decide.

Excitement Eggs: Or, Why "Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" Sucks

By the guest blogger, world's greatest DAD

MASSIVE THUMBS-DOWN. I just back from seeing this in England, where I essentially paid $20 to get in. I got some bad news, me droogies: I think Lucas had A LOT to to do with the script. LOTS. There's never any real sense of danger, there's no chemistry between him & marion (very disappointing that -- he shows up and she's all google-eyed), there's no tension bewteen him and Ilsa, she-wolf of the KGB, and the whole thing is a lot of misplaced sarcasms, anachronisms, and pater famili-ar apologetics. & etc & etc.

Of course he did manage to leave in the problematic representation of Otherness.

LUCAS = FAIL. I am no longer excited about Clone Wars and have decided to put all my excitement-eggs into two baskets: Batman and Hellboy2 --and most of that is going into Hellboy.

2. So, you retort, "'Crystal Skull' isn't all that bad. You're just nostalgic for the first one and you set up impossible expectations".

I defy anyone to watch Raiders and then immediately watch this one and tell me that the first one isn't a superior product. It doesn't matter if it--Raiders-- had plot holes or a silly story; the script worked and the actors were convincing and had chemistry and the effects were a pleasure and the photography/camera work was thrilling and fit the tone of the story and the overall effect was fun and scary and refreshing. the new one accomplishes none of those things: the performances are flat, the script is hokey, the effects are transparent and the whole thing looks like it was phoned in.

Just b/c the film is dripping w/ nostalgia for a time long dead doesn't mean that any critical account of that film is guilty of the same historical subjectivity... Crystal Skull is just plain bad film-making from a team of creators from whom we should expect more (He's Spielberg for Godssake! he can handle character!)

Super Tuesday, volume II

NYT reports:

“Mr. Obama is expected to win the primary in Oregon, a largely white state with a fairly liberal Democratic base, while Mrs. Clinton is expected to win in Kentucky, which has a strong working-class vote,” and um, errrrr, also “a largely white state,” yes?

Hmmm. So both states have large white populations. Hmmm, what’s the difference between them? “Mrs. Clinton won a commanding victory last Tuesday in neighboring West Virginia, where racial considerations emerged as an unusually evident factor for some Democratic voters, according to exit polls.” Is that what they are calling RACISM now? “Racial considerations”? OK.

“Clinton advisers add that they believe race was a relatively small factor in the West Virginia vote.” HAH! Of course they say that. It’s their brand of Clinton Racism I spoke about earlier, which has one part cynicism, two parts stupidity, and a dash of Roveian strategy.

“. . . and this is nowhere near over,” says HRC.

God almighty. Woman, STOP THE MADNESS. But no....

Old white ladies of America! UNITE!!!

Dumb White Voters: Racism in Klinton Kuntry

Wow. This article from the Washington Post both shocks and fails to surprise. The level of retrograde, troglodyte idiocy in Indiana is truly astounding. I thought West Virginia (gaaaaaay) had taken the cake, but Indiana leaves the cake of that "wild and wonderful" state out in the rain:

In Muncie, a factory town in the east-central part of Indiana, Ross and her cohorts were soliciting support for Obama at malls, on street corners and in a Wal-Mart parking lot, and they ran into "a horrible response," as Ross put it, a level of anti-black sentiment that none of them had anticipated. "The first person I encountered was like, 'I'll never vote for a black person,' " recalled Ross, who is white and just turned 20. "People just weren't receptive."

But it gets way worse:

Victoria Switzer, a retired social studies teacher, was on phone-bank duty one night during the Pennsylvania primary campaign. One night was all she could take: "It wasn't pretty." She made 60 calls to prospective voters in Susquehanna County, her home county, which is 98 percent white. The responses were dispiriting. One caller, Switzer remembers, said he couldn't possibly vote for Obama and concluded: "Hang that darky from a tree!"

Documentary filmmaker Rory Kennedy, the daughter of the late Robert F. Kennedy, said she, too, came across "a lot of racism" when campaigning for Obama in Pennsylvania. One Pittsburgh union organizer told her he would not vote for Obama because he is black, and a white voter, she said, offered this frank reason for not backing Obama: "White people look out for white people, and black people look out for black people."

And then there’s this:

On Election Day in Kokomo, a group of black high school students were holding up Obama signs along U.S. 31, a major thoroughfare. As drivers cruised by, a number of them rolled down their windows and yelled out a common racial slur for African Americans, according to Obama campaign staffers. Frederick Murrell, a black Kokomo High School senior, was not there but heard what happened. He was more disappointed than surprised. During his own canvassing for Obama, Murrell said, he had "a lot of doors slammed" in his face. But taunting teenagers on a busy commercial strip in broad daylight? "I was very shocked at first," Murrell said. "Then again, I wasn't, because we have a lot of racism here."

And it goes on and on. Here’s some choice words from a CIVIC OFFICIAL in Pennsylvania, that other great “Clinton” state in which Billary (worth $109 Million) tried their darndest to stir up class and racial resentment:

In a letter to the editor published in a local paper, Tunkhannock Borough Mayor Norm Ball explained his support of Hillary Clinton this way: "Barack Hussein Obama and all of his talk will do nothing for our country. There is so much that people don't know about his upbringing in the Muslim world. His stepfather was a radical Muslim and the ranting of his minister against the white America, you can't convince me that some of that didn't rub off on him. No, I want a president that will salute our flag, and put their hand on the Bible when they take the oath of office."

Here is the address, phone number, and email address of balless Norm Ball. Write him:

Tunkhannock Borough
126 Warren Street
Tunkhannock PA 18657
(570) 836-1548

tunkboro@ptd.net

Or -- NEW!!! -- use the online form here and let him personally know that you donate to GOLDBLACKDEVILHUSSEINHEAD and will "fight" to the very bitter end for Dalton Hatfield to get his bike and X-box back from the clutches of the MONSTER. (Psssssst, make sure to attend the rally for Dalton next Saturday; location, t.b.a., but word on the street is that it's to be held at the Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum.) You can even send him this form letter (just copy it directly into the text field using your mouse cursor ma gig):

Dear Mister Norman Bates I mean Ball (Get it? “Ball”?),

I am an Elite Member (Verified) of GOLDBLACKDEVILHUSSEINHEAD. I am writing to demand that you immediately resign from the position of Mayor upon receipt of this letter. I give money to GOLDBLACKDEVILHUSSEINHEAD and have been told that you are stupid. Stop leaving messages on my answering machine you fatso.

Thank you,

_____________.

Finally, like Josh (gaaaaaay) from the previous post, we have this denier:

Aaron Roe, 23, was mowing lawns at a local cemetery recently, lamenting his $8-an-hour job with no benefits. He had earned a community college degree as an industrial electrician, but learned there was no electrical work to be found for someone with his experience, which is to say none. Politics wasn't on his mind; frustration was. If he were to vote, it would not be for Obama, he said. "I just got a funny feeling about him," Roe said, a feeling he couldn't specify, except to say race wasn't a part of it. "Race ain't nothing," said Roe, who is white. "It's how they're going to help the country."

It’s still cool that Obama nearly took Indiana -- clearly, not with the help of these morons. What a great big tent you got there, Hillary Clinton. Or are you just happy to see me?

West Virginia is Gay! (Part Deux): No Interviews Please!

Here are some gems from last night's Daily Show, answering the question,

"Why was West Virginia so heavily behind one particular candidate?"



"Something approaching an aversion for Barack Obama. He's simply not their kind of guy."

"I'm sorta scared of the other race....."

"He's muslim and that has a lot to do with it" (at 2:21).

With the prize going to this chud (at 2:23):

"I don't like the Hussein thing. I've had enough of Hussein."

You know, that "thing...." Uh, that "Hussein thing". Nobody likes the Hussein thing! Ew!

Goodness golly.

. . . and poor Dalton Hatfield, who walks to school and to home again, to NOT play video games!

West Virginia is Gay!

Here’s a state I really admire, and which should definitely be viewed as the most important state in the Democratic primary so far, since it accurately represents the ideals of the American mixing pot:

West Virginia . . . has few . . . African-Americans and affluent, college-educated whites . . . . The state has the lowest college graduation rate in the US, the second lowest median household income, and one of the highest proportions of white residents, at 96 per cent.

The point isn’t that Obama’s got a snowball’s chance here. Rather it’s that Billary likes to stoke the resentment, feed on the inferiority, and float racist balloons for all the "white ethnics" to gawk and cluck at:

"Hillary is in this race because of people like you and places like this. . . . And no matter how much fun they make of your support of her and the fact that working people all over America have stuck with her, she thinks you're as smart as they are. She thinks you've got as much right to have your say as anybody else.

She really thinks this? She’s in this race for lil’ ol’ Ripley, West Virginia? You mean that butthole of a town with a total population of 3,263? Yeah right.

Here’s what the West Virginians - the “real” Americans who are as smart as anyone (forget about their low college graduation rates) - think of Obama, that candidate with the yucky Hussein name who's in clear violation of the “one drop” rule:

Most people questioned said they mistrusted Mr Obama because of doubts about his patriotism and “values”, stemming from his cosmopolitan background, his exotic name and the controversy surrounding “anti-American” sermons by Jeremiah Wright, his former pastor. Several people said they believed he was a Muslim – an unfounded rumour that has circulated on the internet for months – despite the contradiction with his 20-year membership of Mr Wright’s church in Chicago. Others mentioned his refusal to wear a Stars and Stripes badge and controversial remarks by his wife, Michelle, who described America as “mean” and implied that she had never been proud of the US until her husband ran for president.

Let these people speak I say! Let them vote! They are white. They are dumb. They are boring! They are . . . sigh . . . American. THEY decide the future of this country, after all. Ok, “Josh,” take it away, boy:

Josh Fry, a 24-year-old ambulance driver from Williamson, insisted he was not racist but said he would feel more comfortable with Mr McCain, the 71-year-old Vietnam war hero, in the White House. “I want someone who is a full-blooded American as president,” he said.

Insisting you’re not racist is like insisting you’re not gay (“I’M NOT GAY, I SWEAR TO GOD!!!”). If you deny it, you are it.

Josh Fry is gay!!!

Josh Fry is gay!!!

Josh Fry is gay!!!

Josh Fry is gay!!!

Josh Fry is gay!!!

. . . and so is West Virginia.