Bull God Fucks Jesus Boy

x X SEXPLOSION! X x

GBDH EXCLUSIVE REPORT

"A videotape showing Kid Rock and former Creed frontman Scott Stapp engaging in explicit sexual activity . . . ." "...engage in sex acts with each other on the tape..."

GBDH EXCLUSIVE REPORT

Click here for more! Go on, CLICK!

Will the Editors of UrbanDictionary.com be Eggy?

UPDATE:
New Definitions of EGGY come fast & furiously (II), beating the presses!

2a. Persons who resist neologisms on account of philological whimsy. E.g.: Betagirl
3a. Blogs that are eggy. Example: http://www.eggy.zoomshare.com/
4a. My friend Austin (from time to time).
5a. The word "eggy."

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Eggy
While meaning "irritating," "annoying," "uncomfortable," or "awkward," the word typically describes a state of being and no longer bears a direct relation to actual eggs. For philological purposes, it can be noted that all these denotations date as far back as 1982, as used in Naperville, IL, USA.

"He was extremely eggy in his response to me"; "Have you met that eggy lady?"; "I'm feeling a bit eggy today"; "The practice room was cold and eggy."

Source: GBDH

Republicans Are Ugly

Gander at one of two dickheads who will likely replace Tom "Palpatine" Delay as House Majority Leader. First Howdy Doody Head, Roy Blunt ("Small Dick"):


















You sure you hate gays? And then the Boner, John Boehner:





















"My eyes are fuzzy with evil."

The cliche that the Republican Party never "looks like America" could not be more fitting here. If you know anyone who looks like this, then put it in your butthole mouth.

Ubi sunt . . . .

I really have mixed feelings about the case of Coni Staton, the mother accused of lady-handling a 6 year-old boy who harassed her own ugly child. Check out the educationalist vid!!! (That means you, too, Locust-the-Lazy, recently exposed to neglect clicking links.) See, I just can’t decide whether I want to be on the Noble Citizens Award Committee to nominate Ms. Staton for a public service medal or on the jury for her pending trial, so that I can have a hand in letting this woman get off scot-free with a counter suit award for slander and libel. You decide!!!

She hardly even tousles the stupid fucking kid. And at any rate, growing up in the 70s, ANY ADULT could potentially do this to you right in a goddamned Kmart or at Six Flags. Knowledge of that potentiality kept my ass in line, kept me from wrecking the Trans-Am, and produced the model citizen that I am, respecting adults and serving as a pillar of this community.

What a shame how times have changed. Gone are the days when a fat ass red-neck mom would set your dumb ass straight.

I AM NOT GAY! I SWEAR TO GOD!

"Mr Williams is not, and has never been, homosexual."

Choose appropriate response from the items below:
a.) Um....
b.) Eschewing gayness "was a business decision," perhaps?
c.) WHO FUCKING CARES HOW MUCH COCK YOU SUCK?!?!?!?
d.) All of the above.

Let's get to the bottom of this.

What the fuck is RUBBER BALLS AND LIQUOR anyway!?

We all know it, but no one seems able to explain why it's a joke, or a tongue twister for that matter. I learned it in second grade, and the idea is to repeat, RUBBER BALLS AND LIQUOR as the answer to a series of questions about the three squares until it sounds like you are saying "RUB (THAT GIRL'S) BALLS AND LICK HER." I mean . . . sure... I guess? But is the eight year old me meant to understand jokes about girls with balls, a tongue twister about twisted tongueing? The sooner one learns about hermaphrodites the better, I've always said, but I still don't know WHAT MAKES THIS SO GODDAMNED FUNNY.

Relax, don't do it....

"We know that some women need something -- a pill, a nasal spray -- to get them going," Melinda Gallagher said in the report. Doctors said women who used the drug PT-141 in test studies felt a tingling or throbbing followed by a strong desire to have sex immediately after spraying their noses. "In the case of women, what we're really doing is sensitizing the vaginal tissue so when they get touched or stimulated, they would feel it a little bit more," Dr. Carl Spana said.

What? What's this? A quest for the essence of the female orgasm in a bottle? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the "strong desire to have sex immediately," if not sooner, but somehow the "immediately after spraying their noses" bit takes the x out of sex, and nobody wants to have se or only se. For in keeping with the Latin grammatical tradition that governs "se" as a reflexive pronoun, having se is having sex with "ones self." Not bad, but who needs a spray for that, unless you are into lubricious PAM:



Turns me on just looking at it.

GOLDBLACK GOLD CLUB ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Women on average
look like Geddy Lee
more than men do
at the choad of dawn.

Eggz

For you vegetabletarians, is eating an egg like eating a fingernail, a bio-by-product that doesn't have a face? Or is an egg like a celery stick, ontologically speaking? I ask because this morning, I ate three eggs. Answer as you may, you'll be glad to know that I also devised a new method for extracting shells from the gluey substance that is the raw egg. It's called the two-finger method!

Materials:

3 eggs.
1 fancy pottery'd bowl your wife brought to the merger of households to replace the octagonal bowls you stole from Austin.
2 clean fingers.

Instructions:

Locate the bits of shell by carefully examining the raw egg in the bowl. Take your left finger and pull the raw egg up the edge of the bowl. This procedure should also pull with it the micro-piece of shell, suspended in a slender strip of slime. Then with your right finger, press down on top of the shell-piece firmly and then -- now maintain pressure! -- slide your finger up to the rim of the bowl. The shell should be dislodged from its grave jelly. Safely discard shell piece. Don't wash hands. Touch all doorknobs. And exclaim, THIS SHARK LIKES TO FUCK!

Ad Insurrectionem

This is encouraging. Interesting also that there are, simultaneously, riots in France.

It can be done.