Thursday, January 27, 2005

Songs About Fucking (Or not)


GBDH CORPORATE DECREES HEREWITH

GBDH does not like songs, the predominance of which, are "talking songs." Suzanne Vega made the form gay, and I am sorry to say that SLINT lilted right into that trap, and though my colleagues will disparage that asservation, and perhaps rightly so, I will only concede that this band is saved by screaming, when they're not verbalizing their generic allegiences to the Charlie Daniels Band's, "The Legend of Wooley Swamp," which I am listening to right now for strictly research purposes, FUCK YEAH. Whispering songs are also to be strenuously eschewed, per 10cc's "I'm Not In Love": "Be quiet, big boys don't cry, / big boys don't cry." Worse yet is the practice the following dictum forbids: never be in a band that aspires to cover a "talking song," no matter what.

Songs that refer to the way things taste suck. "That sugar cane / tastes so sweet...." a la the Random Lyric Movements of our most global local talent. This detestation is only a sub-set of my general dislike for questions related to the way things "taste," as when a waitron asks, "Sir, does everything taste all right?" You tell me, lady. Is there something I can taste? When a dude asks you, you are to aver, "Get the fuck out of my mouth."

1 comment:

betagirl said...

This should come as no suprise but I totally disagree with your assessment of Slint. I will not get into a verbal diatribe with you on this subject but I will tell you you are wrong on that tip.