Election 2008 among the Joeja Natives

Tribal chieftress wears red tights as she charms blond children to save civilization from a benighted Hussein terrorist (above)


As reported in the Banner-Herald:

Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain won the election over Democratic candidate Sen. Barack Obama by a popular vote margin of 423 to 157 on Nov. 4 during a mock election held at Danielsville Elementary School in Northeast Georgia.

"I've loved doing this," fifth-grader Amber Fowler said. "It's been my favorite thing so far this year." "Even better than the zoo?" Manus asked about their field trip to the Atlanta Zoo in October. "Even better than the zoo," Amber said. "I feel actually like I'm 18 and voting."

Well, if this don’t really persuade you that the Republican party is for kids, or aimed at those with the emotive mindset of an uneducated child, then nothing will.

At the event, our branch reporter caught up with THE WORLD’S GREATEST DAD, who loves his son more than anything in the world. He has this to say: “That's right kids: deciding the fate of the World based on your redneck parents' fear of obsolescence and your own ill-conceived and uniformed notions of, well, everything is EVEN BETTER THAN THE ZOO!”

I don't get Proposition 8

Maybe I do get it. Fucking petty, pussy ass voters.

THANK YOU AMERICA!!!!!!!!!

And, finally, The Onion headline, "Nation Finally Shitty Enough To Make Social Progress"

WASHINGTON—After emerging victorious from one of the most pivotal elections in history, president-elect Barack Obama will assume the role of commander in chief on Jan. 20, shattering a racial barrier the United States is, at long last, shitty enough to overcome.

Obama's victory is being called the most significant change in politics since the 1992 election, when a full-scale economic recession led voters to momentarily ignore the fact that candidate Bill Clinton had once smoked marijuana. While many believed things had once again reached an all-time low in 2004, the successful reelection of President George W. Bush—despite historically low approval ratings nationwide—proved that things were not quite shitty enough to challenge the already pretty shitty status quo.

Fucktard of the Day: The Undecided Voter & Registered Democrat

Meet a dumb ass fuck head, Keven Sheen.

"I'm actually still wrestling with moral issues," says the 29-year-old registered Democrat, who voted for George W. Bush in 2004.

WHAT? You fucking tard. Your right to vote should be rescinded! YOU VOTE FOR AN ADORABLE PUPPY BOUND AND GAGGED AND DOWSED IN GASOLINE AND BURNED EVERY DAY BEFORE YOU VOTE FOR MCCAIN/PALIN, MUCH LESS GEORGE FUCKING BUSH!


You big pussy. IIIIIIssues in this one, no doubt.