Verify The Alternative (Verifying Alternatives then as now)

This is a Super8 film from May 1986 that my buddies and I made (and starred in) for a project for Mrs. Beckman's New Media class at Naperville North High School. The same cast of characters, and the same protagonist as in Ninja, our other hit video, with which this film evinces intertextual connections.

This film was shot on location in McDowel Woods, off River Road in Naperville, and edited with tape and that splicing implement on loan from the top floor of the library. We all wish we made the film a bit longer. I distinctly recall being cast as a preacher, and I came to the shoot in my '78 Buick Park Avenue with a blue suit on and my hair completely hairsprayed down, but somehow the monkish theme became irresistible -- let alone suffocating and noxious, as you will soon see.

That said, it's fair to say that there's something appropriately surreal in its brevity -- all the way to its irresolute ending. Then there's the weird broadside at the beginning credits depicting some celestial irruption in the medieval fashion of a flaming face shouting at you unnecessarily, breathlessly, and extremely loudly from the heavens after coursing through the darkest reaches of goddamn where daemons and spheroids alike are borne in their inbreathed comminglings: it's come to say you suck, so smile!

Oh, I'm not sure why the sound is so low. It was fine in the original file.

Name the tunes!!!

What Obama Needs to Do (and Do Now)

GBDH writes in to the Obama campaign with the following advice:

My brief suggestion to O: use the word "Clintonian" as a pejorative, and tell O to offer remarks such as, "Here is another Clintonian strategy of twisting the truth and changing positions. The only change in Hillary's campaign is a change of position when it suits the politics of the moment."

The point: "Clintonian" will merge Hillary and Bill in the minds of the public, and will evoke the worst of Clintonian politics, to which - I'm afraid - your campaign is succumbing.

Make "Clintonian" a bad word. Do to "Clintonian" what Limbaugh and then later Rove have done to "liberal."

I'm not saying be Rove-like. I am saying that O's rhetorical abilities need to be refined towards better soundbites and pejoratives to defeat the Clintons (PLURAL), who are too deft at floating smear balloons.

I honestly don't think you have much time to save this, and I want O to be prez. PLEASE DO THIS, and go O!

Clinton Racism

Here’s the latest racist shit coming from the Hillary campaign - in the words of one of her advisors: "If you have a social need, you're with Hillary. If you want Obama to be your imaginary hip black friend and you're young and you have no social needs, then he's cool."

Or in the words of Hillary's pollster, Sergio Bendixen:

The Hispanic voter—and I want to say this very carefully—has not shown a lot of willingness or affinity to support black candidates.

So the Hispanic vote is the latest firewall for February 5: “In all honesty, the Hispanic vote is extremely important to the Clinton campaign, and the polls have shown—and today is not a great day to cite polls—that even though she was slipping with women in Iowa and blacks in South Carolina, she was not slipping with Hispanics,” he said. “The fire wall doesn’t apply now, because she is in good shape, but before last night the Hispanic vote was going to be the most important part of her fire wall on February 5th.” You can bet they will stir up racial animosity to assure the firewall is in place, and working. They'll stir it up by saying Obama's campaign is stirring it up.

Or in the words of Hillary:



I mean, who needs all those Civil Rights leaders when you have a President? Maybe racist isn't the word for this one. How about stupid? Her reply to the charges?: “Clearly, we know from media reports that the Obama campaign is deliberately distorting this. . . . It is such an unfair and unwarranted attempt to, you know, misinterpret and mischaracterize what I’ve said.” No, Mrs. Bill Clinton: you are distorting this. You think LBJ would have given a flyin’, flagellatin’ rat’s ass about Civil Rights if it weren’t for MLK. Do you? You think that the nation would never have awakened itself to its racist abuses if it weren’t for LBJ? You think that January 21, 2008 should be renamed LBJ day? Has MLK’s dream even been realized when you and you're campaign are talking this shit? How dare you go there. Man, what a fucking cynical campaign you have.

Combine Hillary's stupidity with her team's racist balloons floating hither and thither and you have a real Rovian campaign strategy. You're aimin' to win! And that's the point. The Hillary Campaign is taking a page from the playbook of that sissy fatXfuck Karl Rove, who says of Obama: "His trash talking was an unattractive carryover from his days playing pickup basketball at Harvard. . . . He is often lazy, given to misstatements and exaggerations and, when he doesn't know the answer, too ready to try to bluff his way through." Basketball? Just had to say it. Lazy? Ditto. Where's "welfare cheat"? "Pimp"? "House negro"? "Half breed?" What Karl, what? What do you really want to say?

I’m sick of this shit, and more sick of it from the Clintons -- all that crap coming from buttholeXmouth of American’s so-called "First Black President." EAT A BAG OF DICKS (with Ranch).

My response to all this? I’ve donated to a political campaign for the first time in my life, and am mailing my check on my way to the gym. [done and done]

Go O

This is war. It’s the soccer moms, blurry but imminently fuckable and strategically placed bourgeois redheads waving and “wooooing” and snapping digi-photos on TV behind Hillary in NH, and old ladies VS Everyone Else who gives a shit about history (and remembers it) and cares about the future of this country.

Come on bruthas and sistas. Get on board with this! I'm sick of this shit, and of course, stupid ass white people aren't gonna go out of their way to help you -- at least not Hillary voters: all the more reason to get fired up.

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MORE Clinton egginess (1/13/08):

Her interpretation of the Tears to the White House ploy:

"I'm very 'other' directed — I don't like talking about myself.... For me, it's always about, ‘What can I do for you? How can I help you?' And I was very touched when that woman said, 'How are you doing? How do you get up in the morning?'" [Source]

Ah, ain't that precious. What this is, in fact, is Hillary absorbing the MSM's points about how Obama's speeches are oriented toward what "you" and "we can do," and Hillary is "I," what "I will do for you." This is a nice flip-flop, and another bit of rewriting recent history and robbing from the great O.

Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters

Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters

Hillary Must Go Down (In Tears)

I can't take it anymore. I can't stand Hillary Clinton. Goddamn her and her poll driven, equivocating bullshit. Look, I voted for Bill Clinton in '92 and danced in front of the TV at Susan Morgan's house with some of the readers here when he won the presidency. I loved it. But I don't love it now (and Bill Clinton is beginning to look like an asshole, but that's another post).

Case in point. The tears episode. Here's Hillary's interpretation of her historic pseudo-sobbing:

"Maybe I have liberated us to actually let women be human beings in public," she said.

Hillary has liberated American women who are now free to burn their bras and their burqas in tribute to her wounded narcissism and their collective, newfound humanity. Give me a fucking break. How many tears have you shed over your vote for W's War? ZERO. Why, because you are not human. And yeah, we're still waiting to hear you say you're "sorry" about that one.

Anyway, did you see the offending video? I don't want to see her face on my awesome rockin' blog, so go here for a look, and think about rule one of gestural analysis: anyone who puts their hand on their face while talking/crying/whatevering – as if they are posing for a fucking author photo on a book jacket – is FAKING IT. And those two words are Hillary's middle name, now that she's not expediently Rodhaming it.

Oh, and fuck you all you old ladies for falling for this shit and voting for her in NH. Stop voting with your pussies, and start thinking with your dicks, as this is politics.