On my recent perigrinations, I've had ample opportunity to observe a variety of instantiations of Monkey Theory -- in driving, in brutality sensationalized on the news, at restaurants, and even in my Dear Sister's family of internecine teens. The present author suffers from limitations of a sundry but namely temporal sort in his disability to relay informationes. But he can report this article, begging leave of his distant coterie that a more full disquisition on Monkey Theory will follow at his leisure. Suffice it to say that the article concerns a theory authored by other researchers -- namely, the theory that we migrated out of Africa along coastlines -- which I largely support, as it explains our lack of body hair: that is, we were water apes, once cavorting with our smooth skinned compeer, the clicking dolphin.
In closing, let me say that I was recently asked by an awkwardly hirsute interloper at an oak paneled Italian restaurant that shall remain nameless as to "what happens when an Alpha Male such as myself enters into this social group?" I approached the young man and pronounced to him and the surrounding crowd of females, "He becomes a Beta Male . . . instantly."
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Punching Sex Culture Internet Garbage Assh0lery DId You get my text lol
2 comments:
hilarius in context I'm sure but also illustartive: biological Alpha males do not name themselves as such (" an alpha male like me"). Males in this position typically _demonstrate_ their position, through physical or verbal battery. Anybody who has to say "i'm the boss here" obviously has concerns about that status. perhaps there are convential alphas-- i.e. "grandpa's here, so let's all observe his dominance even though it is a social convention and any one of us could break him in half." but a human male hazarding social position in front of a group of females is a lot like a stag putting his head down and charging: and if you aint got the horns, you aint walkin away with the prize females.
Hilarius is an early mediaeval pope, illustartive rather abstarctly in some of his decrees, however unconvential. Points well made, tho. Perhaps the ending is a bit over enthusiastic, but indeed you are well on your way to an elevated apprenticeship in MONKEY THEORY! CONGRATULATIONS!
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