The Randy Couture of the Artworld Speaks

Date: Tue, 23 Oct 2007 09:09:47 -0400
From: Steven McClure
To: GBDH
Subject: Jesus

A dream- you had just ambushed my house to make
a Youtube video. Then later before the party I asked
you to clean the sink- and suddenly there is spaghetti everywhere
and I am yelling "you are CLEANING like a madman."
Then you say laughing "I am from the south can you show me your
drinking."

Skull Fucking: ACT NOW!!!

Live From Congress: The Skull Fucking Bill Of 2007

The 80% Rule: Men & Women

The following research published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences confirms earlier original research sponsored by GBDH:

The men also appeared to be much less choosy. Men tended to select nearly every woman above a certain minimum attractiveness threshold, Todd said. Women's actual choices, like men's, did not reflect their stated preferences, but they made more discriminating choices, the researchers found.

GBDH has termed the "minimum attractiveness threshold" the "80% rule." In the eyes of a heteromale, a prospective female is already 80% attractive and fuckable simply by Being a Woman. No additional preening is necessary. Such a scientifically verified figure can put women at ease in the knowledge that they already earn a B- in the eyes of their counterparts even if their performance is a F. Likewise, but inversely, the male attractability score rises when males are "doing," performing, and Being (not Looking) Awesome. Men who do nothing are seldom fuckably attractive to the female human monkey. Granted, both men and women "must work it" in equally complex ways, but only men can be ugly and still get their fuck on, though women do have 20% wiggle room in this respect.

I find these performative and ontological questions of gender to be interesting for the division of labor it demands for both sexes respectively. Readers who've done extensive research in the homosexualist arts can contribute in the comment section.

Fox on the Run (1975)

Hell yeah:



Readers love it, too:

"Yep, one of the best and un-matched to this day! The talent is just not out there anymore."

Richard Jewell: R.I.P.

Rest in peace guy. Man, did they fuck you, so you get the last word:

"I never sought to be a hero. I have always viewed myself as just one of the many trained professionals who simply did his or her job that tragic night. I wish I could have done more."

Freud, Feet, Fetishism: Pussy Foot or Penis Foot?

Experts agree. “The feature that makes the Pussy Foot even better than an actual foot is the pussy located on the sole of the foot. You can passionately fuck the foot in a way you’ve never been able to before. It is the perfect combination of foot and vagina” (JT's Stockroom).

Sure, make no mistake, everything's "better" with a pussy on it. But let's theorize! Is this pussy foot a species of fetishism when it offers "the perfect combination of foot and vagina"? Why is this combination "perfect"? Why must a vagina go on a foot and not a forearm? Perhaps the answer comes in the familiar adage: a cigar is not always a cigar, a foot is not always a foot. Yes, we need Freud!

Freud writes in his classic essay on fetishism:

To put it plainly: the fetish is a substitute for the woman's (mother's) phallus which the little boy once believed in and does not wish to forgo — we know why. What had happened, therefore, was that the boy had refused to take cognizance of the fact perceived by him that a woman has no penis. No, that cannot be true, for if a woman can be castrated then his own penis is in danger, and against that there rebels part of his narcissism which Nature has providentially attached to this particular organ. (205). Aversion from the real female genitals, which is never lacking in any fetish ist, also remains as an indelible stigma of the repression that has taken place. One can now see what the fetish achieves and how it is enabled to persist. It remains a token of triumph over the threat of castration and a safeguard against it; it also saves the fetishist from being a homosexual by endowing women with the attribute which makes them acceptable as sexual objects. In later life the fetishist sees other advantages in his substitute for the genital. The significance of fetishes is not known to the world at large and therefore not prohibited; they are easily obtainable and sexual gratification by their means is thus very convenient. The fetishist has no trouble in getting what other men have to woo and exert themselves to obtain. (206). Thus the foot or shoe owes its attraction as a fetish, or part of it, to the circumstance that the inquisitive boy used to peer up the woman's legs towards her genitals. (207)

In what seems to be a reversal of the Freudian position, the pussy-foot literalizes castration by actually depicting the pussy on the foot! The foot is no longer cherished as the pre-traumatic image, the last thing seen before glimpsing the traumatic site of castration. Rather, this sex-toy supplies no substitutions whatsoever: you get the foot and the very thing that makes you want to love the foot in the first place, the pussy. This is brilliant. It can be concluded, then, that this sex toy provides for a new kind of fetishism, one that is perhaps cynical, one that "knows" precisely the theoretical stakes of fetishism and that won't, contra Freud, "disavow" the absurdity or reality of fetishism, whereby the fetishist steals away to have a moment with his own idiosyncratic desire (see 208). Here, rather, the logic is: "I'd rather fuck a foot than a pussy; nay, I'd rather fuck a foot that IS a pussy!"

In some sense, however, Freud is right by getting it wrong: the sheer existence of this sex toy proves it. Why, after all, would anyone want to fuck a foot? Why was such as sex toy even imagined in the first place????

Crying Over Spilled Sperm

Why women who don't use condoms feel happier

The finding that women who do not use condoms during sex are less depressed and less likely to attempt suicide than are women who have sex with condoms and women who are not sexually active, leads one researcher to conclude that semen contains powerful—and potentially addictive—mood-altering chemicals.

Study author Gordon G. Gallup, Ph.D., a psychologist at the State University of New York in Albany, also found that women who routinely had intercourse without condoms became increasingly depressed as more time elapsed since their last sexual encounter. There was no such correlation for women whose partners regularly used condoms.

Gallup's survey of 293 college women also found that those who did not use condoms were most likely to initiate sex and to seek out new partners as soon as a relationship ended. "These women are more vulnerable to the rebound effect, which suggests that there is a chemical dependency," says Gallup.

Semen contains hormones including testosterone, estrogen, prolactin, luteinizing hormone and prostaglandins, and some of these are absorbed through the walls of the vagina and are known to elevate mood.

Gallup controlled for variables including method of contraception, frequency of sexual intercourse, as well as the women's perception of their relationship. He concedes that women who regularly have sex without condoms might share personality traits that make them less susceptible to depression. But the behavior most often associated with non-condom users is sexual risk-taking, and studies have found no correlation between high-risk sexual behavior and lower rates of depression.

Gallup's study, which he deems "the first serious attempt to investigate the effect of semen chemistry on women," titillated the public and rankled some academics upon publication in Archives of Sexual Behavior. Gallup says he has since replicated the findings with a sample of 700 women and will examine whether "semen withdrawal" places women at an increased risk for depression when they are premenstrual, menopausal or have just given birth, as many women abstain from sex during these periods. -- Tiffany Kary

Tay Zonday - "Chocolate Rain"

New internets sensation!!!

Listen, read along, and leeeeeeeearn:





Lyrix:

Chocolate Rain
Some stay dry and others feel the pain.
Chocolate Rain
A baby born will die before the sin.

Chocolate Rain
The school books say it can't be here again.
Chocolate Rain
The prisons make you wonder where it went.

Chocolate Rain
Build a tent and say the world is dry.
Chocolate Rain
Zoom the camera out and see the lie.

Chocolate Rain
Forecast to be falling yesterday.
Chocolate Rain
Only in the past is what they say.

Chocolate Rain
Raised your neighborhood insurance rates.
Chocolate Rain
Makes us happy livin' in a gate.

Chocolate Rain
Made me cross the street the other day.
Chocolate Rain
Made you turn your head the other way.

Chorus:
Chocolate Rain
History quickly crashing through your veins.
Chocolate Rain
Using you to fall back down again.

Chocolate Rain
Seldom mentioned on the radio.
Chocolate Rain
Its the fear your leaders call control.

Chocolate Rain
Worse than swearing worse than calling names.
Chocolate Rain
Say it publicly and you're insane.

Chocolate Rain
No one wants to hear about it now.
Chocolate Rain
Wish real hard it goes away somehow.

Chocolate Rain
Makes the best of friends begin to fight.
Chocolate Rain
But did they know each other in the light?

Chocolate Rain
Every February washed away.
Chocolate Rain
Stays behind as colors celebrate.

Chocolate Rain
The same crime has a higher price to pay.
chocolate Rain
The judge and jury swear it's not the face.

Chorus:
Chocolate Rain
History quickly crashing through your veins.
Chocolate Rain
Using you to fall back down again.

Chocolate Rain
Dirty secrets of economy.
Chocolate Rain
Turns that body into GDP.

Chocolate Rain
The bell curve blames the baby's DNA.
Chocolate Rain
But test scores are how much the parents make.

Chocolate Rain
'Flippin cars in France the other night.
Chocolate Rain
Cleans the sewers out beneath Mumbai.

Chocolate Rain
'Cross the world and back its all the same.
Chocolate Rain
Angels cry and shake their heads in shame.

Chocolate Rain
Lifts the ark of paradise in sin.
Chocolate Rain
Which part do you think you're livin' in?

Chocolate Rain
More than 'marchin more than passing law.
Chocolate Rain
Remake how we got to where we are.

VICELAND's BEST "DO"

This should give women a good idea of the range of acceptable winter outfits. On the high end we have knee-high boots with heels (wedges are cheating but we’ll let that slip today) and everything else super tight. Then on the low end we have comfy pants gussied up with some kind of Marc Jacobs-y coat and scarf. One implies wealth and class with an impeccably-kempt bush while the other implies fun and a sense of humor with an impeccably-kempt bush.

Porno Bear AKA Knut the Polar Bear (Berlin zoo)

"Then he gives me a really good bite...." You don't say?





















Caption: "No, don't finish me off yet."
















Caption: "Ahhhh, yeah. That's it. "