Lo Mein? NO, LO MEGADEATH! [sic]

If you own a shitty MOTOROLA silver, sliver phone, try this predictive text experiment. Try to text your friend "Martyn" a quip about his need for Lo Mein and general local boringness. Instead, you will be forced to enter, "LO MEGADEATH." Now what the fuck is that? I can't text fuck, fucking, puss, pussy, shit, ass, asshole, cock, cunt, lo mein, or any of those other fun words. But yeah, there's MEGADEATH in the lexicon waiting to be used when expressing your appetite NAY symphony for destruction. DUCK THAT! And it's not even how you spell that goddamned band's name!

I HATE MY PHONE AND IT'S EVERYONE'S FAULT

I HAVE ZITS

I AM MOODY IN MY ROOM

SHUT UP MOM

Old White Men (OWM)

Is the Empire Carpet Man,
The New Colonel Sanders,
The Orville Redenbacher arriviste?






























Will he be
Wilford Bremley?










WHEN WHEN WHEN
Will he -- this Carpetier -- be erect
In the pantheon of Senescent,
Fluffy White Hucksters of chicken, popcorn,
and stuff for diabetics?

DIE, MONSTER, DIE IV: The Beginning of the End

Libby convicted!

DIE, MONSTER, DIE III

"Cheney treated for blood clot in his leg."

DAMN IT!

DIE, MONSTER, DIE: Part Deux!

Yay, Bill Maher! He could have been more wishful, but not bad.

You look!:

Vice

Some good “DOs and DON’Ts” from VICELAND.
Click ‘em n' laugh and fuckin get into it.

Make sure to participate in the ass-off and VOTE for your favorite!

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Sex

Seven

Eat

Nine

Ten

Those Assmilds at Motorola

My Motorola sliver phone is a piece of shit. It won’t let me be myself in this day and age when I thought that shitty commodities like this were available to help me realize all my potential as an Individual, unique in the items I don and use. For instance, take predictive texting. Just now, in a text message, I was trying to call "Martyn" (fictional name to protect the innocent) a “pussy,” but instead I am constrained to call him a “puppy.” In certain circumstances that name would apply, but really, “pussy” is what I was after. But nooooo I have to choose from “puppy, pupsw, pupsx, pupsy, pupsz, and pups9.” Come the fuck on! If I wanted to call my friend “pups9” and suggest that he is the 9 year old, instant messaging fuck buddy of the retarded Motorola Engineer who designed my predictive text lexicon, then I would have said as much!!!

Some Motorola engineers . . . goddamned this fucking Microsoft shit, this word processing shit called WORD, which capitalizes automatically Microsoft as well as Motorola . . . .

I HATE EVERYTHING

Die, Monster, Die!

SINGAPORE (Reuters) - U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney's plane, which encountered a mechanical problem after leaving Australia to return to the United States, landed safely in Singapore on Sunday.

"This was the pre-planned, scheduled fuel stop," said Cheney's spokeswoman Lea Anne McBride. "We were not diverted," she added, following a comment by Australia's Prime Minister John Howard that Cheney's plane had been diverted to Singapore because of the mechanical problem.

The problem had posed no safety issues and the aircraft was fine, the White House said earlier. However, a reporter working for eRsatzNewz was quoted as saying, “GODDAMN IT.”

Musical Pleasures

Click here for a great sexy song (assholes)!

What a bunch of fox

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