Rest in Peace Rosa Parks. All the rest, listen to Neville Brothers', "Sister Rosa." I'm not one for political songs but this one's really HOT!

YES, Kids Are Even MORE Retarded Than Ever!!!

You might have heard about these twin blonde Nazi bitches on Viceland or stumbled across them in your viewing of white supremicist sites, which began celebrating these girls once they grew tits. But have you really HEARD these Aryan "Olsen Twins" look alikes?

Check out this mealy mouthing. Don't piss me off and not do it, because it's an instrumental lesson on how NOT to tune, much less "play," an accoustic guitar. The fact that these 10 year olds enunciate like 4 year olds is reason enough for the state to seize these blue-eyed devils and turn them over forthwith to Abdullah the Butcher for a round and overdue spanking.


Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings saieth the Lord. . . ?

Pisshaw! I'm with the exegetes on this one. Boethius had it right in De Musica: if you can't play, you shouldn't be thinking -- a maxim topped only by Alain de Lille, who holds that if you can't jam, you can't fuck.

Missed Connections (Reprise)

Hi Prof. [GOLDBLACKDEVILHEAD] - -
OK, so apparently something went wrong again. You e-mailed me on thursday and said to meet tomorrow on wednesday. . . and i came friday and everything was just all messed up. Last week was crazy anyways, so lets start things over again. If you lost my schedule it's MWF 9-2:15. Around 2:30 seems to be when we are supposed to meet so any day is good for me.
Hopefully see you soon,
Thanks,
J[.] W[.]

Kids Are Retards

If by definition a retard is retrograded to some earlier stage of psychological development, then children, by virtue of their verbal ejaculations, dumb sentences, flailing histrionics, lack of sociability, and sharp turns from blather to boo-hoo, give retardation its clearest and most evident meaning yet. I am fucking sick of sitting on an airplane with a bunch of fucking retards - like, say, that dumb ass kid blabbering his pointless non-sense at the top of his lungs for the entire flight back from NYC recently: "Ree a wow wee gonna make it and BREEEEEEEEEEEW bee gee and they all, Daddy daddy!" Grow some balls, Indy Dad, and make your retard shut the fuck up before I kick your skinny ass and cork his slobber hole. Mary-Tyler-Core Mom, your blue burbling newborn resembles quite distinctly a pupal grub, but worse because instead of making itself useful by eating dirt it shrieks and stinks. Breeders, you make heterosexuality gay.

Love
GBDH

Normally ovulating women have been found to report greater sexual attraction to men other than their own partners when near ovulation relative to the luteal phase. One interpretation is that women possess adaptations to be attracted to men possessing (ancestral) markers of genetic fitness when near ovulation, which implies that women's interests should depend on qualities of her partner. In a sample of 54 couples, we found that women whose partners had high developmental instability (high fluctuating asymmetry) had greater attraction to men other than their partners, and less attraction to their own partners, when fertile.

Proceedings: Biological Sciences
ISSN: 0962-8452 (Paper) 1471-2954 (Online)
Issue: Volume 272, Number 1576 / October 07, 2005
Pages: 2023 - 2027

Sock It To Me in the Sex Club

7.) Respect!: This rule is very simple. If you see someone that you are attracted to and that person is part of a couple. Don't just approach that one person. Respect that they are part of a couple and speak with both parties. Ignoring one or the other in a couple is not the way to enjoy the evening. Likely you will find yourself not appreciated for the really nice person you might well be.

Hurricane, or, Refugees Aren't For Africa Anymore!

Mother Nature with her huge hermaphrodictic balls proved the Allinian dictum of "Life Sucks Scum Fuck" in her recent cataclysmic expression of force and destruction. I'll be watching events unfold with dismay in this Apocalypse for so many in the Gulf states and will grin with Schadenfreude at all SUV drivers who will soon be paying $3.50 a gallon for gas to the tune of $70 a tank. You just HAD to have such a big stupid car, didn't you!? Yet my political prophecy lies elsewhere, in a cynicism not only about the optimism of the National Guard's readiness and numbers to assist relief efforts in the U.S., but of the propaganda and double-speak at the Department of Defense where Living Color's catchy phrase, "talking out the side of ya neck," most certainly applies in the D.O.D.'s bald statement concerning an increase in Guard deployments and its celebration of Guard units mobilized during Katrina: "The National Guard's solid response to Hurricane Katrina demonstrates that the Guard is still fully capable of responding to stateside emergencies while supporting the war in terror overseas, the chief of the National Guard Bureau told the American Forces Press Service today. " The news, however, will make you wonder whether the response is indeed "solid": "looting on Tuesday took place in full view of police and National Guard troops. " My point is about numbers, not military might. My prognostication, which -- you can remember -- you heard it here first, is that we have at hand an unfortunate misallocation of resources in the likes of our National Guard units across some four or five southern states who presently find themselves in Iraq pursuing the "President's" vain agendas and absent from their better humanitarian purposes of airlifting the hundreds upon hundreds of citizens stranded on their rooftops in these flooded areas. Oh the looting in Baghdad, oh me oh my. Oh the looting in New Orleans! Not wishing to pun, I just want to float that discourse out there. Spread it around, jack it, fuck it.

Message of the Day

LIFE SUCKS
SCUM FUCK

YOU DECIDE!!!

Is this shirt gay or not?



Background:
My beloved friends from Ohio, "Keith and Bill," gave me this shirt in 1993 in recognition of my likeness to a Landfill Phantom and my confessed love for Allysin Chaynes I mean Alice In Chains. I thanked them for it, and closeted it stat, thinking it was "gay." I believe I had made the right decision at the time. I mean, who wants to look like he’s heading to Lollapalooza? Who wants to look like he’s heading back, even though demographically, and according to the latest figures, 89% of my friend base have in fact been to Lollapalooza at least once? While 46% surveyed indicate that they own an Alice In Chains album, 87% admit to liking at least one Alice In Chains song, with 75% of those responses singling out the single, "Would," from the Singles soundtrack (also from the album Dirt) as the overwhelming favorite; 20% goes to "Man in the Box (Baby You Know You Like It That Way)." And if 20% of the 87% are heading towards the train station, what percent of England has a July 4th?

But now it is time for me to face the skeleton and, as they say, "Jingle the Sleigh (Let's Do it One More Time)." So, is or is not the shirt "gay?" Can it be worn in public without heaps of ostracization descending upon the wearer? This is by no means a settled issue. And experts as geographically and aesthetically diverse as Lilly Locust and Apartmeant13 have weighed in.

Has the shirt accrued any nostalgic value in a universal sense? The shirt is only slightly worn looking. No tour dates on the back; only religious iconography, an Ace of Spades, and dog tags. That was hard to type . . .

YOU DECIDE, FUCKERS (Because I fucking can’t)!

Read

"His real injuries were almost as bad as the ones he hallucinated," as you may read in a fine example of journalism.